40 Day Fast...Day 7

Today Stephanie writes about sexual abuse, shares heartbreaking statistics and encourages us to
support our local organizations devoted to this cause. Please take time to read her post and maybe find out more about how your community cares for victims of abuse.

40 Day Fast...Day 6

Chaotic Hammer highlights Compassion International on Day 6 of the 40 Day Fast. Please click here to read his post.

Before

Here we are just 5 days into the 40 Day Fast (About something other than us) only this post is going to be about me.

Before the 40 Day Fast, I

• Didn't think twice about burning two pieces of toast, tossing them into the garbage and then trying one more time (but today I did)
  
• Never thought to start my day with a glass of cold water instead of downing a can of Diet Coke before I was even awake enough to taste it or to decide if I really wanted it (but yesterday I did)
  
• Blew through the grocery store grabbing our typical items without much thought, and ended up with way more junk food than real food much to my kids' happiness (but next time I'll slow down and shop smarter maybe)
  

And that's not all.

Each day I read another post and a string of comments that are totally changing me. Not just moving my heart, because that was already in a pretty good starting place. But it's all slowly invading my thoughts, my habits, my lifestyle, my lazy ways. Whatever amount of compassion I felt, no matter how strong, it didn't stand a chance when everything else about me was shouting, "No, not you. Not yet."

It is finally sinking in. Each one of us can make a difference. Each little bit counts. Each small thing helps. In fact, each small thing seems crucial. I didn't get that before...or didn't believe it. But now I do.

Which, now, makes this post totally about something other than me. And that's what it's all about.

40 Day Fast...Day 5

Kristin blogs today on raising compassionate children. Please check it out here.

40 Day Fast...Day 4

Shaun Groves is the blogger for Day 4 of the 40 Day Fast.

40 Day Fast...Day 3

SAM is the blogger for Day 3 of the 40 Day Fast.

40 Day Fast...Day 2

Brant Hansen is the blogger for Day 2 of the 40 Day Fast.

40 Day Fast...Day 1

Today is the first day of the 40 Day Fast. Each day I'll post a short sentence or two reminding you to click on the link of the blogger fasting for the day. The links are listed in the sidebar of my blog directly under the 40 Day Fast logo. Just find the date with the blogger's name next to it and click on the link. You'll be taken to their blog to read about a need or cause and the organization they are highlighting.

Today, Kat will tell you about Compassion International.

:-)

40 Day Fast...It's Almost Here

Tomorrow is the first day of the 40 Day Fast. Scoot over to Kat's blog and find out how you can follow along and even get involved yourself. And beginning tomorrow, each day I'll be posting a link to the blogger who is fasting.

Come on...check it out. It's going to be very inspiring.

:-)

Lazy Hazy Summer

Been dying to post something new the last day or two and even thought of about five random subjects, but summer already has become a little lazy for me.

Or maybe I've just adjusted to being a "be at home mom" again...and enjoying it because it's so temporary.

Lots of movies seen already (we've seen 5 of the top 10.) Way early mornings driving my oldest daughter to summer school, just up the hill and around the corner - then crawling back into bed afterwards. And my most recent obsession with finishing the book I blogged about previously (which couldn't have arrived in the mail soon enough.)

I've even discovered some fascinating blogs - one of which I spent maybe an hour reading and then watching a series of video clips entitled "I Can't Open It" from the blog of 81 year old Millie Garfield, one of the Internet's Oldest Bloggers. It's awesome. So warm and inspiring. I can't wait to go back and read more.

Aside from those things and now getting my son (the middle kid who can't wait to leave for camp again and whom I worry may miss the bus home on purpose...sisters...) ready for another week of camp, crud wars and whitewater rafting, I'm still here. And floating between what my summer was supposed to look like (major household organizing and goal setting and goal implementation beginning) and what my summer is falling into place as being (movies, random cleaning, trampoline games and remembering what it was like to spend snippets of time alone with each of my kids.)

I'm really lovin' this summer...but will try to cut down on trampoline play every now and then to post something new and, ummm, exciting.

:-)

More Than One Meaning

Trampoline - Where my youngest and I play our newest backyard game called, ummm...well, we really haven't named it yet. But here is how you play. Climb onto a trampoline (in our case, it's our neighbors') and warm up by slowly running around the perimeter of the bouncy part. Then, (oh...make sure to throw a ball onto the trampoline before climbing up) lie on your back on opposite sides with your feet pointing toward the center. Bend your knees so that your feet are flat on the surface. The youngest goes first, as always. Using only your feet play "volleyball" as best you can. That's it. Very fun. Very funny. Very prone to starting loud laughter and occasional snorts.

Trampoline - Another excuse insurance companies in Florida now use to cancel your homeowners insurance policy it seems. Guess my "neighbors" need to make sure their trampoline isn't visible from the street.

Trampoline - My 6 year old's code word. We use it sparingly but with great effect. We use it whenever little chatterbox begins divulging deep dark family secrets, concocting her own deep dark family secrets out of boredom or when she begins to repeat lines from a movie we are embarrassed to let be known that she has seen somehow. "Trampoline" said with a tone of urgency and raised eyebrows has been found to stop her motormouth mid-word and with wide eyes, a slight gasp and a tiny smile of pleasure she replies, "Oh, yeah...trampoline."

:-)

Great Idea

Once I re-entered the blogosphere (again), it didn't take too long for me to check out Kat's blog. And just in time for an amazing idea she is presenting of a 40 day fast for her friends and readers in an effort to "take a long term stand against poverty."

For 40 days beginning on June 22nd, 40 bloggers will fast one day each and on that day will blog about a need, nation or cause and an organization addressing that need, nation or cause somewhere around the world. On each of the 40 days, all bloggers will post a link on their blog to the "fasting blogger" of that day. Kat then encourages everyone (including you!) to participate in fasting on the 40th day.

At first I only intended to follow along and then fast with everyone on July 31st, the 40th day. However, a song and a subsequent post by Kat inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and fully join in (I think I’m on her list!)

In her song, You Are the Sun, Sara Groves sings,

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I can't be a light unless I turn my face to you

I listened to this song a few days ago and, although it wasn’t the first time I’d heard it, it was the first time it stuck with me in a way that felt something like, “So Marianne, when are you going to let God’s light shine through you…when are you just going to look Him face to face and let it happen?”

Then Kat mentioned using our blogs for something outside of ourselves and I knew what I wanted to do. How I wanted to start looking God face to face. How I wanted to start to shine.

Maybe these connections make no sense to you. That’s okay. But I’m going with it and I’m pretty certain in my own scattered way that it’s the beginning of something pretty exciting.

:-)

Very Cool...

Check this out, Thinkmap Visual Thesaurus. I believe you get five searches for free but then that's it without paying. I happened upon it quite by accident but never knew a Thesaurus could be so much fun.

:-)

Try it out.

EuRekA...

Tonight - once again a little down in the dumps about my lack of skill at parenting my soon to be 14 year old amazing daughter - I remember that there is Google.

Google. Of course.

I go and type in “when your teenage daughter hates you,” thinking that may be a bit exaggerated, but...WaLa.

Nearly perfect article. Points me in the direction of what looks to be a nearly perfect answer to my so many many questions, concerns and general mass confusion. I mean, this was soooo not going to happen to me. To us.

But it did. And I absolutely am shopping for this book tomorrow. I miss my daughter and while I know that typically this too shall pass, I want to make triple-sure that it does.

Here it is. My chance to display all the patience, understanding, wisdom, humor, insight, strength and, above all else, unconditional love that I spent my teenage years (and possibly longer) insisting that I deserved even more of at times. Here’s my chance.

We so need this book. And your prayers.

:-)

Getting Going...

Decluttering...oh, yeah...one room down. Only like 5 more to go. But hey, it's only June. Got all summer.

Got all summer to finish those three books I started as well. Bad habit I have - reading lots of books at once. It's kind of hard to finish one that way. Sigh.

What am I reading?

This Beautiful Mess: Practicing the Presence of the Kingdom of God by Rick McKinley. I read Jesus in the Margins about a year ago and felt I couldn't go wrong with another of his books. I was right. Have many page corners turned down...some pages at both the top and bottom if the front and back of the page have parts I want to remember to come back to...one day.

Oh, then at bedtime I started reading Mandy by Julie Andrews Edwards to my 6 year old. I read Mandy myself when I was probably in 4th grade (yep, a hundred years ago) and have been waiting for just the right night to sneak it into her bedtime routine. See, typically, she prefers to do the reading herself. And while she has many many gifts, listening isn't her specialty. But somehow I caught her by surprise and - BAM - now she's hooked. It's awesome.

So, the third book I have started but not have finished is Narrative of Sojourner Truth by Sojourner Truth with Imani Perry. Read about it on Chris Rice's blog and, being a History Major and all, thought I'd check it out. So far I've only read the timeline in the front of the book. It's been so long since I've studied History or even read much about History - fiction or not - and I was amazed to remember all that took place during her lifetime. Truthfully, the facts and exact dates of historical happenings never seem to stick for long in my mind, but the stories of people who have lived before us fascinate me. And so, I look forward to reading more about another remarkable woman in history.

So there you go...my summer and how it is all starting. How is your summer "getting going"?

:-)

Time Flies

Exactly one year ago today I went back to work. And wasn't all together thrilled about it either. Seems like just yesterday we had a dog. Seems like just yesterday he made me late for the first day at my new "real job" and like just yesterday that I paid a babysitter every penny I brought home for 2 1/2 months. Seems like just yesterday I thought that was a really great idea.

:-)

Wow...so glad it's not yesterday anymore. So glad that this summer instead of copying and laminating and data-entrying (I made that up) that I will be driving my taxi cab all over town again. Yes, I really said that...despite the absurd cost of filling up my taxi's gas tank.

My job...it was great. My co-workers...they were the best. My kids...they adjusted somewhat. Me...I needed to catch my breath. So, I figured out - actually, I just told them - that I couldn't work this summer. I should be typing something like I studied and tweaked my budget but...I didn't. I just quit. Even found my replacement. It just all worked out.

So this summer I'm back to having a Spongebob Theme Song brainstain and back to washing beach towels every night. No, we don't have a pool - just lots of hoses, sprinklers and water guns. And when I'm not taxi-ing children I plan to spend my summer blogging, decluttering and, yeah, catching my breath (which mostly involves reconnecting with my kids I think.)

And, ummmm, because I failed to do that budget tweaking (would've been wise...oops) you may have to endure a few blogs on coupon clipping (do they still print those?) and reaquainting my kids with the library (instead of our cherished Barnes and Noble)...not sure I can let go of that one!

Anyway, how has "everyone" been?

:-)

Girls' Night Out

I owe last night all to my(older) brother. He was supposed to breeze into town after being close by on business but...didn't. Couldn't. Wouldn't. Whatever. Okay, okay - I'm being a baby.

Anyway, since the sitter was already booked and although the thought of curling up with a stack of books at Barnes and Noble all by my lonesome for 3 hours on a Saturday night was terribly tempting (sad but true), I opted for plan B: Girls' Night Out. The "girls" being my 13 year old daughter and me. And wow, what a treat.

Although, I wasn't so confident of that as we were planning the night...

"Mom, can I call Brooke (not her real name) and ask her to come with us?" (her)
"Well, no, I thought this time it would be just the two of us." (me)
"Mommmm...WHY?" (her)
"Just because." (me)

Doesn't sound too promising, does it?

But what a GREAT time we had! And you know what? She sucked it up and enjoyed herself. She had a monumental stack of gift cards and a wad of babysitting cash ready to spend, but she followed me to my stores (at first) and did her best to dress me a little more stylish than usual. Which actually isn't too hard since anything more than flip flops and jeans is a fashion improvement.

Then, when I was finished and I couldn't carry another bag, I followed her around and watched in amazement at the little shopper she had become. Only two (maybe three) years ago we spent HOURS in Limited Too while she stared at racks and racks of clothes having no idea what she liked or what she wanted to try on. Painful.

But no longer. She whizzed through shops and honed in on exactly what she liked. She looked at tags, compared prices and added an accessory here and there. She knows what she likes. Time being key at 8:30 on a Saturday night (especially with three more stores to go before the mall closes), she skipped the dressing rooms and held up shirts and shorts to herself before taking a chance on whether something would fit. And just where did she learn that?

I was truly amazed. And also thankful to have somehow, some way, produced a fashion guru (okay...she's just a typical teenager) from whom I can borrow cute shirts and fun jewelry. Because, I'm thinking after last night, there is no way I should be dressing myself anymore without seeking her advice first.

As the mall closed and we HAD to leave, we spent another hour or so bonding at Olive Garden. It had been far too long since I spent the night out with my oldest daughter. Far far too long. She has changed so much since shopping at Limited Too. She has changed so much just in the last six months. And in just four more months...she will be out of middle school. Finished. The awkward years over. Just in time for High School.

Suddenly I'm at a loss for words. My fingers just sat still over the keyboard not knowing what else to say. And they are doing it again right now.

All I know is that, out of all of the Girls' Night Outs that I've had, last night was absolutely the best ever. And that's saying a lot. It was some good stuff.

:-)

Tea Time

Since I'm officially on my way out of the dumps (for now) thought it was high time to add to my list of Sweeter Sites. Typed the previous post while indulging in my new nightly ritual of drinking a mega-mug of hot tea. But not just any tea - Tazo Tea (Calm is my personal favorite.)

So I thought I'd check out their site. Definitely sweet...can't wait to go back and play around with it more when I'm not quite so sleepy. Try out a cup of virtual tea for yourself.

:-)

A Good Tired

Lately, I've been totally exhausted by the end of the day. Actually, I've become totally exhausted by the time I make it to work. Some days I'm even exhausted as soon as I wake up.

I have wondered if maybe I'm getting sick. Or if I've developed an awful disease. But then I realized that all my joy and typical silliness were no longer around, and I had to accept that (oh no, not again) I'm a little down. Truly blue. I HATE that. Really, I do.

I mean it's not like I don't have so so much to be thankful for. My car works, I don't cut my own grass and my kids are healthy and fairly happy. So not feeling very thankful for those and scads of other things that are perfectly peachy, I became, ummm, unsettled. I think that's because I've been less than thankful before and I know the blues follow close behind. In a way it's kind of nice to see them coming at you. Gives me time to give a few people a heads up. Gives them time to hide or at least to fill their calendars with other people, places and parties while I sit at home and wallow in my selfish sadness. Kidding.

Anyway, before you start thinking that I'm just one big whiner, let me say that (for me) feeling extra sad has not always been a bad thing. Years of living through the coming and the going of my blues has taught me that...well, they come and then (thank you, God) they go. And some of the most amazing things can happen in the middle of being down in the dumps.

The blues make me very humble. Which is surprising since I'm not exactly arrogant when I'm not being sad. But once I'm down and I know I'm going to be there for a bit, I settle in and start to relax. Because there is absolutely no point in fighting it. And then, and then, I start to take a look to see what really is going on in my house, in my family and in my life. "Whoa," I say to my solemn self, "No wonder you are so depressed."

Because usually it's only when I'm totally at a loss for how to keep on going - when I'm thinking that there is no possible way that I can manage all of this - that I remember that I'm not supposed to be trying to do it all on my own. And in my mind I start to see a feature film length slideshow of all the times and all the ways I have completely taken over MY life. Oops. Again.

So I humbly go to the door and knock. And, of course, He answers. He's been waiting on me to fall on my face (just because it was bound to happen again) and to remember what I was forgetting. Him. Thank goodness He's always so happy I'm back. Thank goodness God is so smart, too. He doesn't just pick me up, brush me off, give me a hug and send me back to blissful days right away.

He sits right down beside me...right down in the dumps and waits. Waits for me to watch that slideshow over and over again. He lets me be sad. And it's okay because I remember He is with me now. He knows me. He knows I need to think about (and probably cry over) every single slide. He's so patient.

But that is the exhausting part of being blue. For me. Sitting there with God and going over all the ways I've taken over for Him. Talking to Him about how I decided to take over His job and how stupid that is...especially since it's happened before. Oh, is he ever patient. I just love that.

And I love Him. And that is why it's a Good Tired. Because once I'm talking to God (again) about letting Him take it all back for me - once I give it all up and ask for His will to be done and not mine - then I know I'm on my way out of the dumps. I can feel the blues begin to fade.

And I'm very thankful.

:-)

Alive

Yes, I'm still alive and kicking.

But some things are not. Like my iPod. And my printer. And we are down to one working shower...but good for that, right? :-)

But the best thing....no, the GREAT thing is that, I'm hardly fazed. And I'm not sure why but I'm totally glad at this remarkable change in me.

Not long ago, just one of those things "messing up" in my world would have irritated the heck out of me. Hmmmm...wonder why I'm different?

Could it be I've finally realized that none of it really matters at all? Okay...maybe the shower does. But the rest of my stuff - oh, did I mention that I abandoned my camera at the airport last month going through security? Anyway, the rest of my stuff is, finally, just stuff.

So what does get under my skin these days? Not nurturing important relationships. When I don't make time to just "be" with God. When I know my priorities are out of whack. When I realize all the days, weeks and years I've wasted on things that don't really matter. When I realize I've trained my kids to think that things will make it all better. Grrrrrrrr.

All totally my fault. I'm good with ME learning that late. Better than not learning it at all. And I'm good letting go of some of my things...at least until they are fixed.

But I wonder...is it fair to turn that around on my kids? After years of obsessively checking off items on the Santa list, overstuffing stockings, busting the weave out of Easter Baskets, and covering every square inch of grass in the yard with giant, inflatable waterslides and moonwalks each birthday? Is it fair to turn Slurpee Thursday (which also took place on most any day we felt like going) into Slurpee Third Thursday...and meaning it?

I'm being honest when I say that I don't really know. Seems fair. Also seems to be a necessity.

I would say, it was fun while it lasted...but was it really? The few times this past week when I've said, "No, can't do it," have been freeing. Really. And not that I'm all into parental power (or any other kind) but I felt pretty big. Like a real Mom. Okay, I've been a real Mom all along...how about a better Mom?

In a time of information overflow (in which I honestly long to soak up every little drop) and in a household spilling over with 13 years of preschool artwork (of which I'm irrationally unable to get rid of the smallest piece of scribble scrabble) I'm feeling a quiet but steady nudge that, for real, less is very much more.

So...processing this new tangent means figuring out what goes, what stays. When to hold back, when to splurge. When to do, when to be. And how to live with three kids who are going to wonder who is the lady now living in their mother's body. And saying to themselves "could my real Mommy come home now so we can do Slurpee Thursday on Tuesday this week?"

See what happens when I stay away too long?

:-)

HaPpY bIrThDaY

Someone very very special has a very very special birthday today. Hmmmm...just in time for me to post a new Matt Wertz song on my (Mommy's Watching You) MySpace Page today. Head over to his page and guess which one I picked.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Teen! :-) And enjoy the song because, soon, I'm going to have to put Chris Rice back on there.

:-)

Time for O

Yep, it's that time again. Just when you thought I had moved way way past O Magazine and Lisa Kogan (groovy little writer). Just when you thought I had chilled out from my shiny magazine crisis. Here we find ourselves once again.

But...it's already my "new" (earlier) bedtime and so...I'm off to bed to...wait a minute. I was going to say that I'm off to bed to flip through the mag and locate Lisa's newest column. But there will be no flippin' this baby!

September is super-sized. Must be a fashion thing - which I'm sure I'll find extremely useful. :-P Well, you never know. Anyway, also there are at least (at least) five places in the magazine with a heavy duty cardstock page instead of the traditional slick and shiny one. At least five places. Makes flipping totally and absolutely impossible.

So I better scoot because I'm going to have to sit up and hold it in both of my hands and I may even have to turn the pages from the top righthand corner...one by one. Wow. This is not your mama's Us Weekly.

So stay tuned. Taking a break from the Kindergarten Saga (which isn't going anywhere apparently!) And I'll be back with...I don't know...something more.

:-)

Kindergarten Blues

Truth is this - my daughter h-a-t-e-s Kindergarten. Okay, so it's only been one week. But one week too many in her five year old opinion.

One week ago just tomorrow morning, I snapped cute, sunshiney pics of her all dressed up and happy on her first day of Kindergarten. And that night, along with every morning and night that has followed, she has cried and cried and begged me not to take her back.

THAT has wiped me out...because it's really hard to take her back now. Totally has taken me by surprise.

I know...in the grand scheme of things it's pretty small. Still feels really HUGE right now. But it can only get better. There's absolutley nowhere to go but up, for real.

Wish I could soothe her little soul by playing some Sara Grooves in the car on the way to school in the morning...you think it'd help? Maybe I could send her to school with an "It's Going to Be Alright" brainstain.

Hmmmm....maybe I'll just do that.

:-)

Alright

You know how it happens. You post to your blog, read it over (and if you are like me you have to edit it again for dumb typos) and then maybe you chose a blog from your links list and step outside of yourself.

Something there grabs your attention and you scroll through the comments. You find a new blog to check out or a subject to Google or to blog about yourself. I think that is the blogosphere.

So yesterday when I re-entered the blogosphere, I ended up at Kat's blog (always a good move) and saw Sara Groves' name repeated in the comments section of a fun post about music and repeat buttons.

Sara Groves...Add to the Beauty. Aaaahhh. Something else to help relieve my stress.

So this morning, blaring from iTunes on my computer (and on Repeat, of course) is Sara Groves' It's Going to Be Alright .

And it is.

:-)

Disappearing Me

I don't know exactly how or when it happened, but not too long I ago I started to disappear. And not just from my blog. Slowly but quickly, every little part of my life has begun to lose "me" and I don't know where those pieces are hiding. Or why I'm even writing about that here.

Actually, I do know why I'm writing about it here...I think. This blog is a part of me that went away. The part that reaches out for connection when I'm pretty much stuck at home, the part that has fun, the part that enjoys reading about other people and their lives...etc.

Anyway...

Maybe you've seen Shlog listed over on the side there...I love reading it. Usually the conversations and comments are sort of over my head or just out of my league (unless it's about his family) but I still love reading it. This morning I went back to check a post I noticed maybe a week ago about burnout.

And I realized what I should have already remembered. I'm not alone. I mean people-wise. Stress pays no attention to marital status, financial standing, gender, age, weight, hair color, etc. And it can be pretty sneaky. It creeps up on us. At least with me that is what happens. And it's contagious...once it takes over one aspect of my life it begins to consume every other area that is already a little shaky. Bummer.

So recently, I've let stress eat away at all the parts of me that keep me (and my kids) going. And that's a really bad thing to let happen.

I have The Message opened up on my coffee table amidst a sea of like 12 other books I'm in the middle of reading. It's opened to page 911 - Psalms 13. I think it's starting to help. I've also started running a little again. Maybe that will help. I don't know what else to really do other than to pray to God like all day long - while I pour my Diet Coke in the morning, while I frantically get my kids moving after that, while I race to work hoping to be on time, as I stand at the copy machine waiting on copies, as I worry about my kids' after school arrangements, while I hold my little girl when I pick her up as she cries and tells me how much she missed me - trying desperately to look past all the sadness and regret I carry around so I can see all of the prayers He has answered. So I can see that He really is with us and that is all the matters.

But oh, I was talking about Stress. I guess you are thinking of all the stress in your life right now. I know it's just as big and as real as mine. So pray for me and I'll pray for you. Encourage me and I'll encourage you. Laugh with me and I'll laugh at you. Oops, I meant with you. :-)

Maybe I'm back...I hope so. You can wait and see. No need to comment - what do you say to something like this anyway??!!

I just needed to write it.

:-)

No Time :-(

Too bad, so sad...no time for blogging. :-(

With last weekend's whirlwind Anniversary Extravaganza and this week getting ready for back to school (which turned into Theme Park Week for the kids...lucky ducks), I am all out of blogging energy. Yep, I have the time, just not the energy left over at the end of the day.

It really is too bad. And it really is very sad. Because I love this blogging thing. I love reading other peoples, getting the nerve up to comment, clicking on other people's names and reading their blogs. It's gigantic fun for me.

But for now...I'm just too darn tired.

Yep, again, too bad, so sad for Marianne. :-(

I hope to be back to my picture taking, link listing, silly self here very soon. Please don't go away for good. I'd really miss you.

:-)

Fifty Years...Wow

I look at this picture and I wish I could have known my parents pre-kids somehow. They look so young ('cause they are) and carefree and happy.

Anyway, here are Anne and Bill, or A and B as the Grandkids call them. This past weekend they celebrated 50 years of being married. 50 years of thick and thin. I am so proud of them. They are awesome parents but they're even better at being husband and wife. And that's no small thing.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.

:-)

Who is Counting Heads Today...

...at the Georgia Aquarium? That is what this guy is asking as he looks out at the sea of faces squished up against his fishtank glass and watches them nudge and push and step on each other. And he also probably notices a lot of the the really big men are sweating. And babies are crying. And little kids are jumping up and down because they can't see.

And he probably hears my kids saying, "Mom, Mom, Mommmmm...can we get Dippin' Dots yet?"

I am halfway joking but it was super crowded this past Saturday and very very hard to see anything very well. I hope I can take the kids back during a less busy time - it's an amazing place. My little one actually cried when we had to leave. :-( Must go back.

Only not in July...maybe January?

:-)

Cameras, Limos and Fish

The only good thing about losing my camera before I even left the airport on Wednesday (I left it in the little plastic bin it rides in through security), is that I discovered my cell phone is way cooler than I knew. Not only can I take some fairly decent pics with it...I can shoot video clips. Whoa. Who knew. Well...not me.

So maybe, just maybe, I can get a video clip uploaded and into my blog. Because, my parents were pretty funny riding in the limo on the way to their 50th Wedding Anniversary Dinner! We'll see. At least maybe I can eventually get a pic of them up. They were very very cute.

Oh...this pic was taken at the Georgia Aquarium. The most amazing thing about this picture is the fact that I could get close enough to the glass to take it. There were 15,000 people there with me. It seemed like it anyway.

Fun weekend.

:-)

Tribute to Uncle M

Before I start, let me say that this Tribute has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that in only four short days I will be needing a ride from the Atlanta airport to my dearest brother's (yeah, the older one's) home. And a place to sleep for four nights. :-)

Really.

So, despite all the fun my oldest daughter and I had writing the Teva Tan post - she can't get over those tan lines - I realize it is totally unfair. Because my brother has been a low key but constant supporter of whatever it is going on in my life that needs addressing and does so in that way only an older brother can. And while I've grown to have a mind of my own, I like running extremely important things by him.

Important things like, am I too old to wear a toe ring or is my daughter too young to have a boyfriend or do I look fat in these jeans? Kidding. I call him rarely - he's a busy man with a family of his own - but when I do, he listens and briefly pinpoints the issues and outlines what I need to address. This, let me tell you, takes talent. I ramble. Just a bit.

So, despite the Teva Tan, Uncle M doesn't just rock on his own. Uncle M has unobtrusively become a rock my little family can count on when we really need a rock. A rock with funny tan lines is still a rock nonetheless.

Love you, Big Bro. And if there is a surf store in Atlanta we'll find it this weekend. Gotta have at least one pair of Reefs. ;-)

Love, Sis

:-)

Teva Tan

It is with an inkling of hesitation and with even less (but some) regret that I retell this tale of humiliation...at my older brother's expense. Of course. It's only natural after years of repressing memories of Red Bellies and Indian Burns and Misguided Fashion Advice (why, why, why did I listen to you we went shopping together??!!).

Anyway...revenge is sweet. I'm here to tell the world, or at least the blogosphere, all about your Teva Tan. :-)

Yeah, go ahead big Bro...you can run (slowly on bad knees) but you can't hide. Well, you never could hide very well but that's another blog post.

Ha - I really shouldn't be enjoying this quite so much. :-)

So, what exactly was that design or pattern or, ummm, fungus growing on the top of your foot last Sunday when you decided to take off your (oh so fashionable) Teva to show off your, ummm, tan?????

Apparently, you aren't alone brother dearest. :-) Amazing, huh?

As your "Hipper than Any of Us Can Ever Hope to Be Again" Niece just quipped as she breezed by my desk, "Flip Flop Tans are Cool, Teva Tans...No." :-)

So Uncle Mike, you truly rock - you know that. But, before your next trip to Florida, toss the Tevas and buy a 5 visit punchcard to the corner Tanning Salon and...wear your FLIP FLOPS!

Love you.

:-)

Anniversary

Sort of. One summer ago my daughter discovered MySpace. And like some others of us who have visited...just to check it out...she majorly got sucked in to a never-ending urge of adding more and more and more friends, obsessively messing with her layout and putting up songs only to replace them with another days, hours or even minutes later.

Whew. MySpace wears me out.

It's been a battle and a pleasure. A source of entertainment, a way to keep in touch and a sneaky way to spy on, ummm, things.

Whew, again.

It's been a great escape some days. Like yesterday (remember no more Calgon Bath Crystals) when I randomly clicked on artists' pages and found some pretty interesting choices for profile songs. I'd add them if I were a tiny bit more cool.

My middle kid, sweet little guy, can't do MySpace yet. And he loves music. So together we check out his all-time fave, Relient K and...haha...were we ever amused the day we discovered Episode One of their MySpace Animated Podcast Series (scroll down). At times I wonder if my sense of humor got stuck back in second grade. Relient K really makes me smile. Their page also makes me want to watch "Pimp My Ride". But, so far, I've only caught the tale end of one episode where they turned some guy's Ice Cream Van into, yeah, the same just pimped out. (What's up with that word and why do I feel incredibly old even asking?)

Okay, so other than only filling my head with nothingness, MySpace has become a very positive thing (for lack of a better word) for me. Where, in the beginning, I went all out with colors and decorating and excessive typing, I have ended up with a toned down, less is more profile full of friends I don't know and never will know personally. :-) Out of 42 friends (okay, so who really needs 4,839 friends anyway?) I know 4 personally and face to face, 4 more personally monitor to monitor or keyboard to keyboard and the rest....yeah, all famous type people but I really like getting their bulletins, reading their blogs and listening to the songs they put up for us.

Anyway, it's been a fun year. Interesting, scary and educational at times - but MySpace has definitely been a Blast!!!

Critics...say what you will but MySpace (currently) Rules...still.

:-)

Calgon, Take Me Away...

Don't know what it is but, this week, I feel like the lady from the 70's (?) bubble bath commercial for Calgon. Remember (and if you don't just keep reading anyway) the lady squishing her eyes closed, rubbing her temples and trying to shut out the 85 things simultaneously going on around her? A few of the 85 things were shown in like little video clips all around and above her head: the dog barking, the little kid crying, the doorbell ringing...what else? Anyway, normal stuff but it was just one of those days and she exclaimed, "Calgon, Take Me Away"...and you instantly see her relaxed and beautiful in a tub full of bubbles. Not only does she seem more lovely, but her surroundings are peaceful and perfect. I remember her smile.

Funny but I always wondered what was going on around her house while she was sitting in that tub and if...it was going to be worth it to leave it all unattended for a 20 bubble bath. And I was still a kid.

Reminds me that, as a joke, (one that didnt' make me laugh) my brother sent me a box of Calgon Crystals for Christmas a few years ago (see the pink box). My life was a little messy around the edges - oh yeah, and with a gigantic crack running right down the middle - and I think he was trying to make me smile. I think. But I was in too big of a daze to enjoy the humor back then.

That box is long gone, but boy...what I would give to have that box of itchy nose smelling bath crystals tonight. Glad for the memory though and I'm thinking it's probably not too late to laugh about it now.

So see, I'm smiling and I don't need to be sitting in perfectly peaceful bubble bath to mean it.

:-)

Yikes...here comes School

Yeah, sounds crazy right in the very middle of July. But there I was tonight sitting on the couch with my "grumpy to be thinking of wearing a stiff khaki skort five days a week" teen wearing out the pages of our Lands End Uniform Catalog.

Then...I realized it's an All Uniform Year. Yep, my little kindergartener will be part of the Khaki Skirt Brigade this year. Only she can throw in a navy blue one when she feels like mixing up things.

But back to my Skort Wearing Teen. I said something I maybe shouldn't have tonight. I told her that figuring out school uniforms with her was less than my favorite thing to do. Nothing against her. It's difficult when you are 13 to stomach too many rules and regulations on a regular basis as it is. Tell a teenage girl she has to wear a stiff skort down to her knees and watch the buzz on the internet as they figure out ways around it...or at least how to live through it.

Their tricks are very clever. Well, duh...of course. ;-) Until tonight the only one I secretly knew about was the rolling the waistband down five times trick (okay, I exaggerate) which drastically changes a skort's length. Their newest idea...and oh my gosh it's really going to work...is to order at least two sizes down in a plus size. Same measurements as their regular size only the tops of their knees will see some sunlight. Nothing too short, just looking for a little room to move around and, yes, perhaps hoping to appear a tiny bit more fashionable.

One teen I know has such deep thoughts about wearing a uniform that she wrote to Teen Vogue last week remarking on their August Back to School Fashion Spread. She explained how excited she was about Teen Vogue's advice and how quickly she looked through the magazine to find the photos. She explained that she was immediately disappointed because she - along with many of her friends - is required to wear a uniform "back to school". And she wondered if the magazine possibly could run a fashion spread (did I make up that term?) on how to maintain your sense of fashion or something like that when your only wardrobe choice Monday through Friday is a Forest Green shirt and, yep, a stiff Khaki extra long skort.

Hmmm. Don't know if she'll get an answer or if there is an answer to that particular question. But I do think it's pretty cool that she wasted no time in expressing her thoughts and, more importantly, asking if they could do something different.

Yeah, I think that's very cool. For 13. You know, complaining could have come naturally but asking for a specific solution...not so much.

So maybe this year our 10 month long debate over catalogs and hems and such will be overshadowed by the birth of a teenager's investigative reporting mind. But the question is...just how far will she take things before she's satisfied with an answer?

Kidding, just kidding. Time for Mom to be quiet now.

Night. :-)

Home Sweet Home

That's right...we're back! Safe and sound. We had an incredible week at the beach-my new favorite place. And more about Longboat Key later but wanted to mention a few special souvenirs.

Yes, we returned with the usual snowglobe, coffee mug (for hot tea), clunky fridge magnet and, of course, t-shirts. However...the best find and my most cherished of souvenirs is a bar of soap. It's sitting right here on my desk and I can enjoy it's delectable fragrance without leaning in any closer. I found this treasure only yesterday afternoon scrunched up in a corner of a shop full of linen tops and colorful necklaces. I'd seen enough of those. But I'd never seen soap quite like the Sister Agnes Soaps neatly arranged on the rickety folding bookshelf.

I chose Beachhouse which, sadly, is not listed in their online catalog. Supposedly it smells like "fresh ocean air" spiked with eucalyptus, coconut and lime.

Anyway...very clever and scrumptious soaps. Took a peek at their website and was amused. Thought I should share.

Glad to be home.

:-)

Car Toppers and AeroBeds

Here we go...we're off. Well, not exactly yet. But by tomorrow afternoon if we are lucky.

Yippee...the beach. Can't wait. One whole week of sun, sand and wet grainy towels. Or, sitting inside playing cards and glancing out the windows hoping the rain has stopped. We'll have to wait and see which one our week away from home will look most like.

Much, much, much needed getaway - at least that is what the kids are telling me. Time to take a break from Florida city life.

For fun, check in at my "travel journal" as I'm going to experiment with mobile blogging. Maybe some funny (or pretty pics) and a tiny bit of text.

Otherwise, have a great week!

:-)

Visit Musician Websites Much?

If you do, don't be shy...drop by Kat's Blog for some not so secret discussion about just that. She's working on building a new site for singer/songwriter/megablogger Shaun Groves and she says she'd love to hear your thoughts. Or read them at at least.

If you've got time, click on the link above and leave her a comment. Check out Shlog, too - it's an awesome blog.

:-)

Happy Fourth

Happy Fourth to anyone who happens by to read this. Hope your day was relaxing and that your evening is full of fun and fireworks.

The sun wasn't really in a great spot for taking this picture, but I wanted to get the shot before a threatening shower washed it away.

So, this is it...I'm running back outside to enjoy the holiday with my friends and family. Hope you are, too!

:-)

Abandoned Blobs

Here's what happens when you take kids who live life in the fast lane and try to bring things down a notch or two. Okay, maybe this was more like bringing it down twelve.

Whatever the number, it didn't quite work out. They didn't create the perfect looking pot within the 36 seconds they are used to achieving an end result.

Channel Change - 2 seconds max
Movie on Demand - 10 seconds...maybe
Pop Tart (toasted) - 30 seconds on low

That's the kind of thing I was up against tonight. So who do you think ended up sitting in the carport pushing the little plastic pottery wheel pedal blowing gnats out of her eyes? That would be me. And boy was it fun. Honest.

Only one tiny potter isn't finished. My little neighbor's pot sits last in line on the table there and he plans to paint it brown tomorrow after it has dried. Because actually it's not a pot, it's going to be a coconut. I'm not sure but I'm guessing he's been living life in the middle lane and eats something other than Pop Tarts for breakfast.

:-)

First Job

I believe tonight will be Sissy's first real babysitting job. I LOVE it. She got the job totally on her own and she really likes the kids. She even took a fresh shower, prettied up and starting talking like a Mom saying things like "Use your words" and "Are you supposed to be doing that". I told her I didn't like using words all the time and that she wasn't the boss of me. :-)

Kidding.

But speaking of liking the kids, you know those other babysitters. The ones you suspect really don't like kids but put on a good show. Or maybe I should say, give it a good try. Maybe they so want to be great babysitters and so want to love taking care of kids but, in the end, they race out the door with a quick "See ya later". Sometimes even forgetting their cash.

Ha ha - that'd be really bad. And I've never seen that happen in real life.

Anyway, I was a terrible babysitter. "See ya later" was blurted over my shoulder one of the few times I ever babysat. I H-A-T-E-D it. It was one of the longest nights of my entire life. The worst part is that it started out lovely. I was happy, the kid was happy. But then, she wanted me to play with her. The whole night. I had no idea.

I guess growing up the youngest didn't prepare me for entertaining others. I was too busy being entertained by everyone around me. And they were terrific at it, by the way. I think I halfway expected my little babysittee to entertain me that night. How embarrassing that I am even sharing this with you. :-)

But I have faith in my daughter. She's an awesome big sister and she LOVES being in charge. She actually is the boss of me - just don't let her know I said so.

:-)

Ughhhhhh!

Tonight - no cute pictures, no fun links and no serious, girly, chatty blog post. I am yanking my hair out here trying to get my email to send/receive in Outlook. ARRRRRRGGGGGGG!! That's Pirate for "Oh My Gosh, could somebody please just hang me upside down by my toenails and zing water balloons at me instead of this madness?" :-)

Of course, my internet service provider says to call Norton - like I'll ever end up talking to someone there. Funny thing is my neighbor is having the same issue. We're on a mission and we WILL get to the bottom of this. Haha. I did get a neighborly tip how to access my email without Outlook though. Something I should have thought of before but...didn't.

Maybe I should just fire Outlook. Less stress and I get to keep my hair.

:-)

Forget the Smartphone - Give me a Compass

I'm dying to upgrade my cell. I want a Treo so bad that I've gotten stupidly lazy updating my current calendar on Yahoo. Like I said - that is pretty dumb. But in my mind I've already moved on. Just don't actually have it yet.

But some snazzy new cell phones in Japan are making me think smartphones aren't quite as superior as I've been thinking. Sure I'd love to make little man's next appointment while we are still at the orthodontist after answering emails while waiting for him to get a band replaced or whatever they do in that back room - without digging through my purse for a Palm Thing, dropping my phone, spilling out old grocery store receipts and pieces of gum with missing wrappers. But it'd even be cooler to point my phone toward the backroom and have it tell me, "Back Room of Dr. Metalmouth's Office in Florida."

Then on the way home I could point it out the window and it could say, "Chick Fil A where you have fed your kids Chicken Nuggets 8 times too many this week" or maybe it'd say, "Super Saver Grocery Story where you really need to go so turn around right now and go buy your family some healthy food and soft drinks." If I drove by the Y it would say, "YMCA where you let your membership expire and...what were you thinking - can't you hear the stairmaster calling your name?"

:-)

Guy in the Tie

Go here and watch some pretty cute ads for Mac. (I'm the guy in the tie.) Sorry, didn't know any other way to post the link so you're gonna have to click on the ads individually. In your spare time.

:-)

Life as a Grown Up Girl

Life may not be very exciting (other than the ant convention held at my house yesterday) but I do have something on my mind. :-)

Today I must admit that I am confused over friendship. I watch my oldest daughter with her "friends" and often end up confused. In my own world, I skip along thinking I'm nurturing and growing deep and solid friendships only to find myself strangely out of touch with someone I thought to be a truly close friend.

With my daughter I think it's mostly an age thing. Although I've done my best to forget being in 8th grade, I still remember the schizophrenic-like place where many girls do friendship in middle school. Not that remembering helps me much in parenting through that. But I do what I can and I'm seeing (and, again, remembering) that largely it is a "live and learn" kind of thing. Drats - wish it wasn't.

But at 42...hmmm, can't say that I imagined friendship confusion at this age. And as far as I've come at being direct, well, what applies with the cashier girl at Walgreens doesn't always apply with the friend who no longer seems to have a spot for me on her calendar.

Sigh, life is life whether you are 14 or 42. And girls will be girls. But then I remember one teeny tiny important detail. My daughter is so watching me. When my friend began to cancel plans and not return calls and became more and more of a stranger even when we did meet up, my daughter would say, "She acted different." And I'd say, "Yeah, I know. Don't know why." And my daughter would say, "That is weird." And I'd say, "Yep, I should ask her about it." But I never do.

So I'm teaching my daughter nothing. Not true. I'm teaching her how not to do friendship as a grown up girl. And I'm being such a baby avoiding what could be an uncomfortable conversation. Let's see if I can do something about that.

But what if I'm not that big. What if all I can manage to tell her is that's what I should do but admit to her that I'm scared. That I'm afraid my friend will get mad at me and how much I hate when that happens. Oh my. So that's where my sensitive but outgoing little teenager gets that.

Here's what I think, 97.8% of the time doing the right thing, setting a good example, is the best parenting possible. But for the times when never in a million years is that going to be the case, there's always honesty. There's got to be some halfway good mothering somewhere in the midst of old fashioned messy honesty.

Or is that a lazy way out? I suppose a combination of tactics would be most killer. Dish out the honesty on how much of a 'fraidy cat Mom is but then pick up the phone and make a Starbucks date with my old friend. If nothing else to catch up.

Afterall, life is never the same from one day to another so what makes me think my friendships will be any different. I just realized this very second that I keep holding out for something in my life that does not change.

Duh. I'm such a dweeb. And as usual, I've rambled all over the place here. At least that hasn't changed.

Peace and thanks for reading. :-)

Invasion

My older brother once told me that living in Florida is like living on top of one gigantic anthill. And, as usual, he is correct. Here are my latest visitors hanging out on my carport column thingy. Looks like they were having some kind of meeting or maybe getting ready to spell out a secret message. Could be they just realized someone made a wrong turn back there in the grass and now they are all stuck on the side of a large white post.

So...life hasn't been too exciting lately. Can you tell?

:-)

Ringxiety :-)

Another favorite on my Sweeter Sites list is WordSpy. Most recently my favorite entry there is ringxiety. How perfect a word. Just the day I read that term, I had been in a meeting with my friend Rachael who has the same ringtone I was currently using. Her phone rang and I jumped out of my skin. My phone rang and she knocked over her purse trying to get to hers too quickly. Made us both laugh...nervously. Haha - we had "ringxiety". :-)

Links

I have a feeling I do things a little backwards in the world of blogging. Take for instance my "Sweeter Sites" list on the sidebar. I think it is more normal to list either blogs or websites or to separate them maybe. But since I'm not sure and wonder why in the heck it really matters anyway, I listed a variety. Places I think are sweet. Sweeter than here. By very very far. :-)

Jes MaHarry. Ever since I noticed her jewelry inside a Sundance Catalog, I vowed to one day (maybe) wear one of her creations. I love her jewelry.

This is one of my favorites. And this one. Oh, and this. Sigh...one day. Maybe. :-)

Movie Night

Woo Hoo - it's chick flick night. The Break Up or The Lake House. Never heard of The Lake House until tonight. Looks a little sad. :-(

My friend and I are both saying it makes no difference which one we see. I wonder if she means it. Because I actually... really really want to see The Break Up. :-) Only I told her it didn't matter.

And honestly, I think the X-Men would be the most fun to see but seems so un-girls night outish. Not sure if we can be that daring. We're kind of boring like that.

Anybody else seen a good movie lately?

A Good Day

For a day that started rather sadly (my little girl didn't want me to leave this morning) it turned out just swell.

She cheered up and chatted with me on the phone this afternoon. When I got home there was chocolate icing all over the kitchen and tiny spot of it still on her cheek.

Later on, I woke up my older two from their computer trances and made them interact with me. Although the air was awkward and uncomfortable for about 3 minutes, their brain cells soon reactivated and they found a full deck of cards. We sat outside and played Spit and some other game that was a lot like Spit only supposedly different.

The sun was still out. There was a breeze. Little kids were running around squealing. It was so nice that I forgot about making dinner.

I don't know that the chocolate, the cards, the breeze or the squeals would have meant anything to me if I hadn't had such an awfully hard time leaving home this morning. Maybe I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. Not sure what that means but I am very very thankful for all the ways I'm reminded that God is with me through thick and thin.

I knew that was true when I backed out the driveway this morning but I really didn't feel it. I knew that was true when my co-worker and friend asked if my little one was sad and I cried, but I really didn't feel it. I knew that was true when another friend dropped by the office this afternoon and talked about her son who is serving in Iraq, and I began to feel it.

But it took coming home again and soaking up the details of the late afternoon to chase away my blues completely. In the midst of all the craziness and seemly unavoidable chaos and confusion, my home is a pretty warm and happy one. And it has extremely little to do with me and everything to do with a loving and faithful God.

Night. :-)

Computer Stress

It's pretty huge for me to admit that being on a computer has stressed me out. But today is that huge day for me.

The very very few things that I do know about computers usually impress most of my friends and their friends, too. That's because they don't like computers. So the truth is that I actually know pretty much nothing but had no clue just how little. It felt good believing I was awesome with computers and every single time one of my friends said something like, "How did you DO that?" I got the Techie Big Head. Only I soooo never deserved it.

Today I've been sitting at my desk muttering things like, "Word has how many toolbars?" and "I think we click on 'Next' - do you think we should click on 'Next'? " Also, someone may have heard me saying to no one in particular, "Why doesn't it say 'decimals' anywhere on this cheatsheet?" or "I really need to sign up for some computer classes as soon as possible!"

Seems the only cure for Computer Stress, though, is more time on the computer. So here I sit blogging when I should be reading the Help Section in Word. Guess I still could go there - since I'm finished here.

:-)

The Gift of Sleep

My mom says the first night they brought me home from the hospital was very exciting. They put me in my little bassinet and then crashed in their own bed for some much needed rest. I think my brother was still up watching Mr. Ed or something. Kidding. But he is way way way older than me.

Oh yeah, back to me and the first night I spent at home as a newborn. Apparently my Dad woke up the next morning around 8:00 and jumped out of bed panicking and yelling, "Anne, Anne, something is wrong with Marianne. She never woke up last night." This sort of scared my poor tired Mom.

Turns out I was comfy cozy and still snoozing away. I'm a good sleeper. Until recently at least. Now a good night's sleep seems to come every other week or so. Which is quite the bummer.

I was beginning to feel helpless and wondered if I had to accept some kind of over forty sleep pattern I keep reading about in know-it-all Health magazines. Because surely my lack of sleep had nothing to do with my tendency to stretch the day as far as I could into the late late night and, sometimes, right into the next morning.

Maybe it was on one of those sleepless nights when I read Chris Rice's recent article on Sleep. You'll have to go read it for yourself, but one thing he mentions is how sleep is one of God's gifts to those he cares for and loves. Suddenly my late night marathons seem selfish and greedy. It's making me think about my bedtime in a whole new way.

So I may need to be brushing my teeth instead of googling - right now. Even though I know, from past experience, that it is definitely possible to do them simultaneously and still do them both quite well. But I'm liking this new approach to bedtime. And his personal twist on "counting sheep" has come in handy, ummm, twice I think. Seems to help and I'm all for getting to sleep quickly.

Sleep tight. :-)

More Pines :-)

Maybe this is a better pic, although I like the one with the sun shining through the trees. I'm no wonderful photographer. And these were taken back in April. But still, I drove "home" to wish my Dad a Happy Father's Day and the trees of my hometown always do wonders for my heart. Wish everyone could see them in person and watch the wind blow them around. It's beautiful. And peaceful.

Georgia Pines

I can think of nothing that ever will be more beautiful to me than Georgia Pines. They forever will remind me of the sounds, smells and memories of growing up in smalltown South Georgia. Even the tropical beauty of white sandy beaches and swaying palm trees can't compare - but I understand if you don't agree. :-)

Weather Channel Season Already?

Seems like we just got over that - just started our No Worries About the Weather Season. Augh! And, by now, I should be wiser by the time Weather Channel Season arrives. But, umm, not so much yet.

Do I have enough batteries? Maybe. Do I have enough water? Absolutely not. Is my pantry stocked with Pop Tarts, Cheez Its and Peanuts? (Hey, it worked for us during the aftermath of Charley.) Well, there is one box of unopened Cheez Its in there. What else? Oh, did I save up for a generator like I totally intended to do last Fall? Nope. Was Alberto supposed to turn into a Hurricane? No and I heard them say so myself on the news. Something happened today while I was in La-La Land at work. All of a sudden we're talking 70 mph winds. Not necessarily here. But I see where Lake County has cancelled summer school. Uh oh.

Camp. Lake County. Nothing like being away at camp when along comes a hurricane. And this is all just occuring to me tonight at 11:26.

No more blogging for me tonight - I've got some TV to watch. :-)

Bug Bites and Nasty Food

It's camp week again. I know because I can still smell Sharpie ink and it's been at least 8 hours since I wrote my son's name in teeny tiny letters on his toothbrush, bathing suits, towels, shirts, shorts, pjs, camera, bug spray (actually they are wipes) and, oops, I forgot to label his socks. And his shoes and, oh well, probably lots of other things.

At least I didn't boo-hoo the whole way home this year after dropping him off at his cabin (with their wildest imaginations they call that building a cabin). I think that's because I remember picking him up last year and he was totally not at all ready to come home. So being the smart woman that I am, I saved my tears for something truly sad. Leaving your quiet kid at camp and knowing he's very glad to be there is so very much a good thing.

So this week I'm thankful he's at a place where he is comfortable being on his own.

My oldest is there, too. She's a Jr. Counselor. Which mostly seems to mean we bought lots of arts and crafts and makeup and candy and whatever else she felt was necessary to have up her sleeve as a Jr. Counselor. In case of a planned Camp Activity Rebellion? I don't know. I finally had to cut her off or else we may as well have held our own camp with her in charge.

So this week I'm also thankful she's in a place where some little girls without Big Sisters can know what it's like to have a really great one - even if it's just for one week.

But that leaves little one here at home. Wishing camp was at our house instead. Growing up the baby in my family, I know her feeling of "when can I go to camp" only to learn later that Sissy and Brother will have moved on to something else that she, again, is not old enough for yet. Wonder if it will leave her as frustrated as it used to leave me? Or is she more determined and, one day, will camp actually take place at our house with Sissy and Bro in charge of her and her camper friends.

:-) Over my decrepit body. :-)

But I am thankful for time to spend with my little one and time for her to remember how much she adores her Big Sister and Brother.

Sorry if this is boring and serious. Camp week is still an odd week for me even if I no longer shed tears while driving back through the camp gates on drop-off day. Especially odd this year with Tropical Storms in the news and smoke from brush fires in the air - it's hard letting them go. Letting someone else watch over them. But it's good practice for me since I certainly don't expect to watch over them for the rest of their lives. And since they would never let me in a million years anyway. And it's a good reminder that, above all, they are God's kids and that he has his eye on them right this very minute anyway.

So with that in mind, I plan to sleep peacefully this week and I pray that my campers will too.

How'd That Happen?

Whew tonight was a blur. Yes, my second day of work has come and gone. Pretty uneventful. But after work that became another story.

My girls and I piled into the car late this afternoon in a rush to leave town only to end up inching alongside some pretty grouchy drivers on the interstate. Let me tell you, NOT a good time to put a 5 year old in the car without snacks or water. Oops.

After what seemed like a gabillion minutes, we made it over to the beach, had dinner and then rescued their brother from some not so grouchy friends who took Clay along on their vacation for a few days. How sweet is that? Can think of not much else that is sweeter.

That is until we made it home. Having that mellow, sand in your flip flops, essence of coconut brainstain thing going on, my kids sort of rolled out of the car. Very slowly. Once inside, they continued in slow motion. Offering to get dressed for bed (without my asking), announcing they were taking bags and other miscellaneous junk upstairs (without my nagging) and peacefully lounging on the couch staring blankly at the TV without bothering to change the channel on Kim Possible. Which is what Buddy was watching while we were gone.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, so I was thinking that nothing is more heroic than someone else taking one of your kids to the beach for part of their family vacation. But then, I got home leashed the doggy and took him out front for...you know.

And then I saw it. It was huge. My mouth dropped open and I turned slowly in a circle thinking I would find the wonderful person behind such a purposeful act of kindness. But I saw no one. I did see all of my yard clippings piled on top of my neighbors' more modest yard trash pile. I ran over to my yard to see if it was true. Gone were the heaps of thorny (to put it mildly) branches which almost ran the entire length of my yard. I just couldn't believe it. I felt guilty but thankful. I felt happy but embarrassed. I felt cared for even though they may have just wanted to make sure my yard got cleaned up before their weekend company arrives.

Whatever the reason - it makes no difference. Someone did something wonderful that helped me out in a huge way. And it made me happy. Someone took my son to the beach which helped me out in another huge way. And that made him happy.

But I'm thinking that someone may want to send me my own clippers because I have a funny feeling it may be quite some time before my neighbors are inclined to let me loose with theirs again. :-)

Not So Bad

Considering how stressed out and upset I was at the prospect of completely letting down my kids by going back to work, today wasn't half bad.

The sitter arrived on time (of course), I was ready (that took work) and my youngest was fully awake and ready for the day (extremely important today). One thing didn't go as planned. Not exactly.

That would be the "thing" my 5 year old came screeching into the kitchen to share with me just the very second the sitter rang the doorbell. "Buddy just PEED in the Living Room. Just now. MOOOOmmmmy, he peed on my puzzles!!!"

I kind of didn't plan that into my getting ready for work schedule and so I was a wee bit late. I know, I know. First day of work. Oops. Pretty big Oops. But my story prompted a few more doggy pee stories throughout the morning. And that made people laugh. So I'm seeing it as possibly a positive first impression.

Anyway, the first day went okay. I think I've got the copy machine down pat. And tomorrow, I think I'll remember to take a lunch break. I sort of forgot about that today. :-)

Remedy

Okay, so since I'm all down and out tonight and worrying that tomorrow will be a totally Bad Day , I'm resorting to full-blown pitiful and pathetic. No, not a gigantic bowl of ice cream. Not a slab of chocolate cake. Something more like plopping my favorite sappy chick flick into the DVD player and scene selecting all the mushy sad parts. Feels better to shed tears over that than real life for some reason. And I've run out of time to watch the whole thing. :-)

Anyway, just wait, tomorrow I'll be typing you all of wonderful exciting things about my first day at work. I'll have stories to tell about all of the fun times my kids had without me. Let's all hope.

Here We Go

So tomorrow is the big day. Remember, up at 6:00, snooze bar, dragging the dog, Diet Coke and getting ready for my first day at work. I should be elated. But I'm not.

I'm sad to be missing the laziness and craziness of summer with my kids. My oldest daughter enters high school next year, meaning next summer she HAS to go to summer school (some insane rule for upcoming freshmen). So this is my last summer with her at home being a bum. :-) Sleeping in, being a camp counselor, MTV marathons - all of that is taking place this summer while I go back to work. And it's really not that big of a deal but tonight I'm sad about it anyway.

My kids have been through so much. Is this going to even phase them? I really don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see. Could be a dream come true for them. Could be they've had just about enough of me. We'll know soon enough.

So wish me luck. Pray this was the right move for all of us if you do that kind of thing. :-)

Boys Rule, Girls Drool

Okay, not really but I had to do something to make up for blogging about my two daughters way before I uttered a peep about their brother. Here he is doing some male bonding with Buddy in the backyard.

There are many drawbacks to being the "quiet kid". And Clay could tell you all of them. Like grown ups trying to make you talk. Like some kids deciding not to talk to you anymore. Like teachers assuming you aren't listening. Like some people seeming too impatient to wait for what you are putting into words a tad slowly. (Gee, how'd I ever think of those?).

But he also knows the secret splendor of growing up quiet. Blending in comes pretty easily. And when you blend in, often times people go about their business and their conversations without realizing they are being noticed. And that can be awfully interesting when you are a kid.

When you are quiet you have lots of time to think. People close to you become used to your nods and whispers, and in some instances your hand signals, and that makes you feel relaxed and happy. Those people don't make a huge stink about your lack of a desire for chit chat. And when you are a relaxed and happy quiet kid, your daydreams become real dreams and your heart and your soul can mingle with each other a bit.

I believe that quiet kids know themselves well. My son is not wishy washy despite appearing otherwise. He has a well defined sense of right and wrong - according to him. One week ago, he proudly attended his public school wearing his "Satan You've Been Punked" T-shirt on the last day. Which, honestly, made me a bit nervous for him.

"When I grow up I am going to be an artist," first came out of his mouth when he was two. He is now ten and his career goal has not budged. He does not want to be a computer artist. No, he wants to paint and he doesn't care how much money he makes. Okay then.

Also, being quiet has given Clay the time to listen to and watch his friends and classmates. He befriends the friendless and comes home from school upset when someone has been wronged. Maybe he notices a little too much. I don't know.

At home he still doesn't (have a chance to) say much but when he does speak up, it usually gets our attention. And shuts us up. :-) Like the time...umm, oh look, this is getting way too long to tell that story.

Anyway, so here's to you my sweet and kind boy. Being quiet is far from a curse. And we love you just the way you are. :-)

Thank you God for Sweet Corn

It's after midnight and my 5 year old daughter is just now closing her eyes. I honestly don't know how she could be falling asleep so soon.

Tonight we went to the Zellwood Sweet Corn Festival and, not exactly being a corn lover, Jayme's dinner consisted of two bites of hamburger (before it fell on the ground), half of a Funnel Cake, a like 60 ounce carnival lemonade and a massive amount of blue cotton candy.

How could she possibly be falling asleep?

I wish I had a picture to post. She was so grimy and sticky and wiped out when we got home. It was great. She was such a puddle that I had to peel her clothes off of her as she lay on the couch in her sugar coma, awake but too stunned from the night's events to move. "Mommy, is the Corn Festibal over now?"

Yep, it was over for us. For this year. And I enjoyed it just as much as she, although, I did more waiting in line for food than I did actually eating any. And I stood 20 people back in the cotton candy line while she rode the carnival rides. But still, I totally enjoyed all of it.

Jayme experienced the Corn Festival "family style" because our awesome friends, Amy and Phil, saved room in their Suburban and we rode out to Zellwood with their family. So we were three adults and five kids instead of what we are used to most days. Believe it or not, it takes really good friends to pull that off harmoniously.

For whatever reasons, vacationing with other families, cooking out with other families or just going to festivals with other families doesn't happen as often as my kids would like. And I understand. Most husbands want another guy around at those things, not just another woman (and her kids) yakking up a storm.

And even worse, hanging out with a single mom and her kid(s) may mean carrying stuff for her, taking one of her kids to the bathroom and then afterwards giving them a ride back home. Having a healthy fear that she may ask you to come in, move her couch to the other side of the living room and help her hang miniblinds before leaving also would be reasonable.

Really, I'm just kidding. I've actually never done that to one of my friends' husbands - yet.

So, why did I enjoy the Corn Festival so much this year? Because sitting under the stars (which I am confident were up there behind those clouds) listening to Mercy Me, I was so surely aware of how much God loves me. My evolving friendship over the last 12 years with Amy and Phil has been no coincidence.

Not once tonight did I feel anything but that every single family member was thrilled we were with them. For a lonely (I admit it) single mom and her youngest kid that is a huge blessing. Not once did I feel like we were intruding on their family time. Not once was there any weirdness. I wish I could adequately convey what a huge deal that is.

Tonight I am absolutely thankful to God for Sweet Corn, for the freedom for us all to gather outside in the night air and raise our hands in praise of his goodness and mercy, and for kind and caring friends. But mostly I am in awe and I'm thankful tonight for how God works through the details in our lives. How he knew years ago that, one day, I would need the kind of friendship Amy and Phil and their kids can give me and my kids. And I thank God that I haven't been so wrapped up in myself tonight that I missed that.

Once again I am remembering that God is definitely good. :-)

Little Sis Protocol

Being 42 does not excuse me from proper younger sibling protocol. You'd think eventually I'd be allowed to grow out of things like calling dibs on best seats (and losing), automatically being given the smaller half of the last brownie and not paying for my own lunch (actually I like being taken out to lunch so never mind about that one). Anyway, some things are meant to remain in place and Little Sis Protocol is one of them.

So, before I forget, let me thank my oh so talented advertising guru of an OLDER brother (Ha!) for helping me rename my blog. For some reason he saw it completely fitting. Mari, Contrary? What could have possibly made him think up that?

Whatever the inspiration, I thank him. Much much much more interesting than "my little blog".

:-)

Love You Muchly, Bro! And you can take me out to lunch anytime! And breakfast and dinner for that matter.

OMGosh...Did It FINALLY Show Up?

There are many differences between my oldest daughter and me. But the one that blares outright at me right this very minute is her tech savviness compared to mine. Well, duh.

Anyway, I just signed up at last.fm. I created a profile, then a chart and then, after (let's just say) over an hour of copying and pasting HTML here and there, I finally have it showing up in my blog.

How long would that have taken my daughter? Really, I don't know but I'm guessing...less than one minute.

:-P

Gotta love being middle aged (a young middle aged mind you) and being obsessed with keeping up with the Internet Generation.

Sleeping In is for Sissies

At least that is what I am telling myself this afternoon. The last day of school. But I don't think that reverse psychology thing works too well on yourself. I'm not so sure it works on anyone actually. Especially on kids. They are way too smart to fall for hogwash like that.

Anyway, I'm writing about sleeping in, not reverse psychology. And I'm not writing about my kids this time. It's all about me. And sleeping.

So, summer is here. And I start a new job in less than two weeks. So for the first time in years, I won't plod through the blistering hot summer days alongside my kids. I won't wake up with one or two of them next to me in bed and offer to read books or tell them to stop tickling me because I want to sleep a little longer.

Nope, this summer I'll wake up at 6:00 a.m. and hit the snooze bar for 30 more minutes. I'll jump out of bed and shake the tangles out of my hair as I run to the playroom, put the dog on the leash and drag him through the yard saying, "Hurry up, Buddy. Hurry Up". This summer at 6:45 a.m. I'll pour my breakfast of Diet Coke, iron whatever I can find that is clean and take my typical extremely fast morning shower. That's the one where I usually end up with three or four cuts from extremely fast shaving. Which is why I avoid new razors like the plague. This summer at 7:45 a.m., I'll run through the house like a crazy woman picking up and swiffering before the babysitter shows up at 8:15. Hopefully I'll remember to feed the dog somewhere in the middle of all of that.

Will I miss driving my taxi around town all summer long on those blistering hot days? Will I miss being Cruise Director to a boat carrying hot, unhappy and whiney passengers on those same sweaty days? Not much. Okay, maybe a little.

I will, however, miss sleeping in. Tons. No more lazing around until 9:30. No more pulling my hair into a ponytail and slowly sipping my Diet Coke while reading and replying to emails with the sound effects of cartoons in the background. Boo Hoo.

So in an effort to deal, I adjusted my thinking. From this day forward, in my view of the world and its people, Sleeping In is for Sissies. (And for teenagers who are extremely brave and wornout from late nights of MTV watching). Being far from a teenager and absolutely being no sissy...no more sleeping in for me.

It's really that simple. Done deal. Probably won't even need that snooze bar now.

No, definitely not. I'll be well rested. Because aside from bringing to light the whole Sleeping/Sissy Philosophy I will be implementing another new personal custom I now refer to as "Napping is Noble".

Just Say the Word Messy and Look What Happens

Yeah, pretty much my life exploded. :-) Especially, uh-hmm, life on MySpace. But not my MySpace. Sigh.

You know, I was the same way. Tell me one thing and I'd nod my head "yeah, okay, whatever" and be thinking to myself, "just be quiet because you really don't know what you are talking about". Double sigh.

Remember my biggest MySpace Fear? I'll remind you. It was (and still is) The Drama Factor. And it came to life in a Big Big way not too long ago. And I sat here watching it all unfold while the drama queens burned up their keyboards late into the night.

Remember my messy life? I should say my daughter's messy life, too. Yeah, so I watched the drama unfold from here while she was over there. Literally biting my nails, or that skin around them. Cuticles, right? Yeah, well, by the next morning they were as much of a mess as the social lives of a few young girls I know.

Next day - Lots of tears. Lots of phone conversations. Mess, mess, mess. Regrets, Pain, Real Sorrow. Fear. No need for actually saying "I told you so" because the words hung so heavy in the air we could both hear them and feel them already.

Some situations are really so unimportant in the "big picture" but they are still so real. So hard. So scary. I think those insignificant and petty mess ups are actually pretty important lessons if we ever want to get to the big picture stuff. Maybe that's just me making excuses for some of my own messiness. Who really knows.

Anyway, my little blog is just that. Little. And very neglected at this point. Sigh, again. What was that? Did someone just say, "I told you so, you'll never find the time to write for that blog thing"?

Ha - just wait...because you don't really know what you are talking about. ;-)