Barefoot in the Parking Lot

So...have you ever left church barefoot? Not only that but have you ever left behind your favorite pair of shoes, never to see them again? Ever dream of doing just that and feeling very much okay with the whole thing?

I never would have dreamt it. And if I had, I don't think I'd have been at all "okay" with it in my dream. But dreaming and doing are two totally different things.

Of course, it's all my teenage daughter's fault. She's the one who led me to this craziness of a church. This place where they spoke of the Joy of Giving and then appealed to the heart of those listening to take off the very shoes they wore into the service, bag them up, and leave them behind. You should have heard the buzz of whispers as people looked down at their feet and chuckled uncomfortably.

Which was the whole point of course.

Here's what went through my head...

• Of all Sundays to support my teenager's attempt to make her faith her own...
• Of all Sundays to visit the place where my teenager desires to worship...
• Of all Sundays to wear my absolute favorite pair of brown wedges...
• Of all Sundays to have to put feet (couldn't resist) to my faith...
• Of all Sundays...Wow.

It was the Pastor's prayer that provided me the time and the closeness to God to decide to leave behind the cutest shoes I own(ed). But it had nothing to do with the shoes (although I hope that today one discouraged woman looked down at her feet and felt the same fleeting sense of satisfaction I felt when I wore them.)

Anyway, it had everything to do with me snapping out of an all too familiar bout of self pity. You see, for the past two or three weeks I had become increasingly discouraged, depressed and downright (secretly) mad at the world. There were no solutions, there was no hope, there was just no time to live a life that really mattered. And all of that together was making me really really grumpy.

Until Sunday, when someone asked me to do something for someone else. Something really unexpected - spontaneous - something really uncomfortable. As easy as it may sound to you, it took a huge leap for me. But once I closed my eyes and rested my head in my hands my heart became still and peaceful like it hadn't been in weeks. My stupid shoes became so unbelievably insignificant.

And as I tiptoed up to my daughter and her friend (because otherwise my pants were like 2 inches too long) I laughed and said, "Why are you guys still wearing your shoes???" They were dumbfounded..."Mom, you know you didn't HAVE to do that..." and "Oh my gosh, my Dad did the same thing, Miss Marianne..." and "Wow, Mom, I feel really bad..."

And I just laughed again and said, "Don't...this is what it's all about," and I felt better than I have felt about God, about my daughter, about myself and about the world (you know I get carried away) than I've felt in quite a while.

And, no, it's not because now (between tomorrow and Sunday) I HAVE to go shoe shopping.

:-)

Saturday Matinee

Aaaahhhh...I found I had a few hours to myself yesterday. It was a fabulous occurrence. So I treated myself to an afternoon with Jane Austen, sort of. I am a bit of an Anne Hathaway fan and I also love most anything Jane Austen. So Becoming Jane was the movie I chose. If you find yourself with a few free hours, go see it!

One of the best things about the movie was the previews...not your usual "Wedding Crashers/Die Hard" type. The Kite Runner preview was news to me that the movie will be out in November (yay!!!) and I am feverishly googling to find out more about Under the Same Moon, about a boy who crosses the Mexican/US border to find his mother after the death of his grandmother. I say feverishly because I couldn't remember the title. :-)

But also...I saw the preview for The Jane Austen Book Club. Brought me much happiness.

So there...enjoy the clips (wish there was one for The Kite Runner)...let me know if you see Becoming Jane...and let me know what you think about the movies coming out soon.

:-)

Coffee Table

I don't drink coffee so, technically, it's not really a coffee table that sits in front of my couch in our living room. Up until about two months ago I could have called it my Diet Coke Table. But now that's history as well (that was really hard, btw!)

Honestly, even if I were to pour a cup of coffee, there isn't one square inch of tabletop available for setting it down. No room. It'd have to go on the floor. Which I would prefer anyway because if by some miracle a space did open up on the table made for holding coffee, I doubt I'd take the chance. One clumsy nap-jerk and over it would go onto one of...ummm...eighteen books.

There's also a bowl I made like 10 years ago in ceramics class and in it sits a very dusty half burned candle surrounded by some shiny rocks, a few Barbie shoes and mismatched barrettes. Along with someone's flattened Capri Sun bag (gggrrrrrr), an old band-aid (that's gross and, tonight, I'm just makin' that up), a piece of tape (I can never figure that one out), and a purple marker that amazingly still works.

I've tried to keep it pretty. Every three years or so I try. And it lasts for maybe two weeks. Maybe. It's just no use. I'm a perpetual book stacker.

And next I'll write about one of the books from that stack. Which is what I set out to do tonight until I sidetracked myself.

So since I'm already sidetracked...what's on your coffee table?

:-)

Suggestions

Recently I was asked, "So Marianne, what movies have you seen lately?" All I could answer was, "Pirates, Shrek and (in a hushed tone) The Simpsons Movie."

My embarrassment led to my new lower -end membership to Netflix...no kid movies allowed on my Rental Queue!

So, sitting on my DVD player ready for viewing are Hotel Rwanda, The Last King of Scotland and The Constant Gardner. I'm in URGENT need of movie suggestions to add to my queue.

Thanks guys.

:-)

Adolescence - Already Arrived?

New book...same topic...teenagers. But this one is a really really good book. Get Out of My Life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall? (Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D.), is a must read for any parent, aunt, uncle, teacher, grandparent, neighbor, or anyone else who may happen to come across a teenager in the near or distant future.

I'm almost finished reading it (for the first time...they'll be more readings to follow) and one part in particular has stuck with me. I can't decide how much of it I agree with so I thought I'd run it by you.

Mr. Wolf writes about Letting Go in ways I had never thought of - he lets parents off the hook in a way. He writes:

As parents, we have a sense that our children are in a changing state, like wet and still moldable clay...Yet by the time of adolescence there are places where the clay has already hardened, where our children have become the final product, the adult they will be forever...In some respects they have already arrived at their destination - the permanent adult form.

THAT was a very humbling moment of reading for me. He seems to go on to say that at this point in teenagerhood, when we see that this is the case - they are only who they are - it's time for Mom and/or Dad to deal with it. We've done the job of parenting as we view it to be, but what happens next (or should happen next) is equally if not more important. Dealing with the individual our "baby" has become and how we feel about it is an ultimate test of letting go. And letting go is a parent's job as kids become teenagers. It doesn't mean we drop the rules and stop parenting. But it does mean we stop trying to shape or, even worse, live through our teenage child.

What do you think? Were you pretty much the person you are today when you were a teenager - minus the impulsive, stupid mistakes? Do you think many parents would agree with this?

It's been on my mind so much since I read it that I thought I'd get some input from my wise readers.

:-)

Middle Child

Since my oldest daughter gets most of the attention on my blog these days and my youngest daughter gets scads of attention at home the rest of the time, then my middle child - the boy of the house - is due a tribute here and there, every now and then. Besides...he's really nice to his mom.

My son, as some of you know, is a gentle compassionate soul as well as an expert lizard catcher. Really...he's quite famous locally. Well, at least in this neighborhood and the next one over. For catching lizards, that is. He's not actually known so much for the gentle compassionate stuff. That's just a mom thing.

Anyway, he notices and thinks about the most interesting things. What he takes away from a moment or situation is never the standard thought or feeling. Not usually anyway. But before you thinking that I'm going all "deep" on you, let me explain...this is all about Billy Ray Cyrus and his (current) good hair. Really good hair.

You see, my son is destined to be bald. Not just a slight receding hairline or the typical bald spot easily hidden by a backwards baseball cap. Nope...he's gonna have the the kind where the head is actually...hairless. It doesn't matter whose side of the family it stems from...they are all BALD! He really really doesn't stand a chance.

So, of course, when we are in spending an exciting summer afternoon in South Georgia at the local Walmart because it's totally 110 degrees outside, we of course end up in the CD/DVD/Movie/Game/"Anything Else Electronic" Section. And as we are browsing CDs, we pick up the new Billy Ray Cyrus CD, Home At Last. I decide I want to buy it because I've really enjoyed our new "family show" Hannah Montana and I'm curious about his CD.

The boy of the house appears beside me looking at the CD. He wants to hold it, look at it closer. He stares at it intently for about 15 seconds, hands it back and says, "He's got really good hair for a Dad. When I am a Dad, I want hair like THAT. It's not fair." He laughs a little at himself and walks back over to the video games trying to hold on tight to the the time he has left with his thick wavy 11 year old head of hair.

Fast forward about a month to middle school band tryouts. Another mom and I talk to pass the time. She shares that her daughter mentioned that my son is really kind, is a good friend and that he has REALLY GOOD HAIR.

Some day, before the big fallout occurs, I'll have to share that with him.

:-)

Grab a box of tissues...

...and check out these three chic flicks...

Catch and Release - Jennifer Garner and an equally cute co-star with really great teeth as well. Need to Google him...just a sec...Timothy Olyphant. Hmmm, well, very nice teeth.

Because I Said So - Diane Keaton plays a hovering mom to her youngest of three daughters, Mandy Moore. It was fun to watch a mother/daughter relationship struggle (only somewhat) but survive with a happy ending. My kind movie for sure. And of course...more cute leading men.

Music and Lyrics - Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore are fun together in this silly but still sweetly romantic movie. Two of my favorite chic flick actors. And a HIGHLY entertaining 80's music video featuring Hugh's movie character is a must see...no tissues needed.

I saw all three this past weekend...I had some catching up to do! If you only pick one, see Catch and Release. Best storyline, most memorable characters and, well, there's the guy with the nice teeth.

:-)

So Far

Things aren't happening quite as I had planned. Very little exercise so far. Yesterday...some abs. Today...some arms. Impressive...not so much.

But I can only go up from here. I'll let you know.

:-)

Another Challenge...WooHoo!

Kat is challenging the blogosphere once again with the 21 Day Challenge. And (how embarrassing) I already missed the first day. But as Kat herself pointed out, that's the beauty of having more than 21 days in a month. So...I start today developing a new (old) habit of exercising in some way every day.

One day it could be 3 miles on the treadmill followed by 30 minutes of free weights. Most days it will look more like 100 sit ups and 25 push ups. Or just 38 jumping jacks. Any of that goes and after 21 days of finding the time in my day to take care of my body...making it strong again, I hope to have formed the habit - once again- of daily exercise.

I need it. I want it. I crave it.

Now it's time to just do it.

Thanks, Kat.

:-)

Soft Drink Friday is almost here...

Means nothing to you...means EVERYTHING to my kids - at least on Friday mornings. Don't even ask how it came to be because I have no recollection. It just is what it is.

:-)

So Last Week

I've been told it is way past time for a new post...Back to School was like soooo long ago.

But it isn't just Back to School that has me distracted from reading my favorite blogs and blogging myself...it's this whole new job thing. For the first time in, hmmmm, 7 or more years I am working full time. School schedule but still, pretty much full time. And, no kidding, this is the hardest work I've ever done. The best job I've ever had I think but also, the most tiring.

Could be that's because I don't know where to put my "stuff" when I get to work. Could be because I have to be there at 7:45 and that means I have to get up at 5:30 which means that...my late nights NEED TO BE a thing of the past (still working on that!) But it's awesome...I love it.

Then, with my oldest starting high school I have that totally on my mind and can think of nothing but that when I think of writing...and I really don't want to write about that anymore! Anyway...it has been a long and hectic couple of weeks but things are starting to settle down.

And here comes a nice long weekend. Me with a little mommy break...errands, some adult conversation (hopefully) and, YES!!!!!!!!!! sleeping in at least one morning! And, of course, some blogging.

What a perfect weekend.

:-)

Their Bags are Packed

And yeah, they are ready to go. One more excited than the other two about Back to School, but it's happening anyway.

Amazing that moving on to first grade seems as scary an adventure as does starting high school for each of my girls. But the lure of middle school and all that goes with it - cooler uniform shirts (if there is such a thing)...longer lunches...better lunches...buddies...girls (sigh) - makes tomorrow the day my son has been waiting for all summer. He's so ready.

And I start my new job. I'm thinking this year is going to be GREAT...I can't wait to be closer to my kids and, also, closer to what I want to be when I grow up.

Happy Back to School everyone...even if all you experience of it is getting stuck behind a slow-poke school bus on the way to work!

:-)

One Track Mind

I wish I could think of something else...anything else...to write about but almost the only thing on my mind is the teenager sleeping (or quietly watching MTV) upstairs.

In every conversation we have I fail to take the highest road. Usually I do take a pretty high road but, really, I should be taking one higher still. How else will she learn about self control, patience and boundaries?

Kat (my ultra-inspiring blogging friend) is taking the week off to focus on praying for her children during this crazy Back to School time. And although I don't intend on taking time off...especially since I just regained reliable internet access...I do intend on taking time to pray for my kids. I also intend on taking extra time to pray for myself and for my mothering skills. For my heart and where it currently stands on mothering this amazing teenage daughter whom God has entrusted in my care (and who am I to question that?). She's not mine actually...she's His. Someone reminded me of that not long ago. And I really really don't want to mess up one of His kids...at least not without knowing I've absolutely done the best that I can.

So, Prayer and Back to School. They definitely go together. Not just to start (or to remember to be) praying for kids but to pray for the scads of people who will influence them along their way. Especially their moms.

:-)

Angst

I've heard that word many times when someone struggles to describe the emotional world of a teenager. Let me point out that it applies just as perfectly to the upside down world of a mom desperately and clumsily trying to parent one of those teens.

Yes, I'm blogging (all about) me again. Sigh.

I'd heard of moms locking themselves in the bathroom to reign in anger, but had a hard time picturing myself doing it. Running away from your teenager...even if momentarily...seemed so ridiculous. But, oh my gosh, that was me just one hour ago.

Good thing I'd heard of the suggestion because there is no telling what I would have said (that I totally wished I hadn't come tomorrow morning) if I hadn't escaped to my bathroom.

So, it was either let another day pass by with no blog entry or blog about what life is really like for me. And since I really hate being a stranger, this is what you are getting. Plus, I'd really love if one of my local (lurking) readers would invite me over for a glass of wine. You think I'm kidding...totally not.

But don't get me wrong - life is very good. I know what I want to be, how I want to get there. I know what matters to me and what no longer does. I get that life is hard and that the messy stuff is what makes you real. I like that being real is much more fun than the stress that comes from being forced and plastic.

But...having a teenager, no - your teenager, looking at you and saying things you could swear you never ever said to your mother, makes even the most sure of us quake in our boots. (Yes, we wear boots in Florida...in January...while we drive down the street blasting our A/C.)

So "Angst" is something (probably the only thing) my freshman daughter and I have in common at the moment. What freaks me out a little is the thought that it could be the only thing we ever have in common. We seem like foreigners to each other. Aliens trying to survive in a world neither of us knows well. Wondering if we ever knew each other at all.

Anyway...recently, I found a box full of old college papers and books. Funny thing. I took a creative writing class my last semester and wrote of my teenage years whenever the assignment allowed. My writing was rough in (many) places but it was totally honest and so my papers weren't all that easy for me to read. But they did give me perspective and hope that, maybe, within 5 or 6 years, my daughter and I won't seem like such strangers to each other.

And that is my prayer. Along with a good glass of wine here and there...that is my constant prayer...that we will get through this and be better women because of it. You think?

Thanks guys for reading.

:-)

Starting Soon

It happened...the first meeting about getting the kids to raise money to build a well in Africa. We're really going to make it happen. We talked about Bulletin Boards, Well Buckets, Two Weeks of Sacrifice and why we are doing this. We have a plan and a start date - September 1.

For one year, September 1- September 1, the students are going to raise money for Blood:Water Mission. Some will go through the year barely noticing the bucket they are passing during Sunday School. But I'm thinking that, for a whole lot of others, something permanent will sink in and that by September 1, 2008, a lot of kids right here in the middle of Florida will be changed. It may just be a tiny seed planted in the mind of some...thinking of, doing for others. Or it could be bigger. Some could "get" that our tiny world right here at home is just that...tiny. Their goals and dreams could shift. They could decide that the life they thought they would go for after high school no longer matters. They could decide to live for helping those who can't help themselves - at least not all by themselves.

Okay, I know...I'm getting totally carried away. You guys know how I like to dream.

Anyway, we're ready. This time it's really going to happen.

:-)

No Internet :-(

Finally...I have internet. But it's been 5 days since my daily visits from the Internet/Cable Guys began. And, still, they have to come back for more tweaking. I think that means they are hoping whatever wires or splitters or boosters (those are just words I've heard cable guys use before) they leave me with will, once and for all, solve my problems. For now anyway.

So, for those of you who know me...can you imagine what 5 days without internet have been like for marianne? A temperamental modem makes for one very temperamental me.

But I've tried to fill my time productively. Let's see, since last Friday I've read 2 more Stuart Woods novels and another by Nora Roberts. What...you didn't expect me to be reading Shakespeare during my personal Internet Crisis, did you?

Also, when I ordered a new backpack from Lands End for the boy of the house, I had to use the phone. That was just weird.

So, here's hoping everything is all fixed very very soon and that the cable guy can find somewhere else to hang out for awhile.

:-)

40 Day Fast...Day 40

Today is the last day of the 40 Day Fast and Toby fasts and blogs for our U.S. Armed Forces. He highlights the organization Treat Any Soldier in his post and says...

I know there seems to be so many troops in Iraq right now, but there are so many more of us. I can only imagine how great they must feel to get some sense of home in a package. We take for granted things like M&M's, Starbursts, soft toilet paper and magazines. These things are a temporary luxury that will brighten a day for our beloved troops.

This last day many (if not all) of the 40 Day Bloggers will be joining Toby, remembering what we've read and realizing how we've been changed this summer. Please take time to scoot over to Kat's post today where she has included a video set to a beautiful song called Pray by Kendall Payne...

I will pray for you now, for you have been my faithful friends
While the road we walk is difficult indeed
I couldn't not ask for more than what you've already been
Only that you would say these prayers for me
May your heart break enough that compassion enters in
May your strength all be spent upon the weak
All the castles and crowns you build and place upon your head
May they all fall, come crashing down around your feet
May you find every step to be harder than the last
So your character grows greater every stride
May your company be of human insignificance
May your weakness be your only source of pride
What you do unto others may it all be done to you
May you meet the One who made us
And see Him smile when life is through
May your blessings be many but not what you hoped they'd be
And when you look upon the broken
May mercy show you what you could not see
May you never be sure of any plans you desire
But you'd learn to trust the plan He has for you
May your passions be tried and tested in the holy fire
May you fight with all your life for what is true
I have prayed for you now all my dear and faithful friends
But what I wish is more than I could ever speak
As the way wanders on I'll long to see you once again
Until then, would you pray these prayers for me?
Oh, that you would pray for me

Thanks for following along for the past 40 days, but don't think it's over. In fact, I'm sure we've just started.

Get a Goat

Kat's back at it...challenging us once again...placing ways to help others right at our feet. No excuses.

There isn’t a person reading this who can’t afford 5 minutes and $1 dollar, writes Kat. Read more here.

At the time of this post there is $66 left to go to buy a goat for a family in need through World Vision. If you and me donate just $1, there will be only $64 left to go. It's that simple.

Instructions for making your $1 donation are on Kat's post highlighted above. She is taking donations through Tuesday at 11:59 p.m.

Let's Get a Goat.

Got American Airlines Miles?

If so, please consider donating them to a family trying to get to Orlando soon. They are friends of Shaun Groves and his family. The wife has been diagnosed with cancer and is said to have only a few months to live. She wants to travel to Disney with her husband and kids before she begins chemo...very soon. If you don't have the miles to donate and would like to make a contribution, that'd help too. Read more about it here at Shlog.

40 Day Fast...Day 39

Today Tressa writes about her family's time spent in India with the Dalits. Please read her post here.

40 Day Fast...Days 37 and 38

Charla and Rick fasted and blogged for Days 37 and 38 of the 40 Day Fast (although I don't think Rick has posted just yet...I'll check back later and let you know.)

40 Day Fast...Day 36

Today's blogger for the 40 Day Fast is Ted. Please take a few minutes to read his post. Over the past 35 days, he has been moved to action after reading many posts highlighting Compassion International...

Somewhere in this 40 Day Fast, I’ve been moved to action. I think it began with the initial shock of the picture, and then continued as I read many wonderfully written posts about people willing to stand up and say, “It sure made a difference to that one!” So, after reading about some great organizations doing some wonderful things around the world and locally, my family and I made a decision to sponsor a child through Compassion International.

Then about fasting he says...

Bill Bright once wrote that fasting is “a primary means of restoration … by humbling our souls”. So today, I’ll get to be humbled … realizing that on so many levels I’ve fallen short of my responsibility to stand up and make a difference. I wonder how God might show me more ways that I can be a part of the solution through fasting today.


You can read his whole post here. It's very honest, challenging and inspiring.

Paper Skin

It's the name of Kendall Payne's newest CD...Paper Skin. So far I've only heard four of the songs in their entirety(ies?). You know what I mean. Anyway, Myspace still works for me for stuff like that. Or you can go to CDBaby.com and hear clips of each song from Paper Skin. Highly worth your time...in my opinion.

I first heard Kendall Payne last November in Anaheim at a YS Conference. First day, first worship...Kendall Payne and her amazingly powerful voice. I missed her table (I was lost in sea of flip flops and backpacks wondering what the heck I was doing there anyway...another post...) so once I got back to my gigantic desktop here in Florida, I searched for her. Ordered "Grown" and wore out the lid on my mailbox waiting for it to arrive. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it.

Couldn't wait for what was next.

And now it is here. If you aren't familiar with Kendall, please check her out. She's fun, playful, powerful and deep.

Love her. Check it out.

:-)

40 Day Fast...Catching Up

I've fallen so far behind here in posting and I hope if you've come here in the last week to check on the 40 Day Fast Bloggers that you've known to click on the blogs in my sidebar.

Last week Amy posted about human trafficking. Not a day has gone by since last Saturday when I first read her post that I haven't thought about the things she wrote. Please take a minute to read her post if you have not already.

Erin wrote about Big Brothers Big Sisters.
Then it was Dray's turn.
Jessica reminded us of the grim realities of North Korea.
Child Labor was the focus for Carlos on his assigned day of the 40 Day Fast.
And today, Kat's Mom writes about Celine who lives in the Philippines while Heather writes about time away from her computer. Find both of their posts here.

In just five days, the 40 Day Fast will be complete. For the next five days I will be praying for the people and the places I have learned so much about from the 40 Day Bloggers. I'll be praying for even more strength to fight inertia and complacency. I'll be praying for my church and our youth group as we bring Blood:Water Mission to their attention and call them to action.

If you can, please join all of the 40 Day Fast Bloggers in fasting on the final day, July 31st, and pray for all of the compassion and eagerness that is resting in your heart to no longer be content "sitting and waiting" for the right time, the right chance, the right place to move you into action. The time is now. For you and for me. We can all make a difference. Just start. Now.

Changes

I'm a creature of habit. I find huge comfort in things staying the same. Change messes me up in big ways.

I know that about myself but, still, I guess I like to live on the edge. So a week or so ago I decided to switch my template here to the new Blogger. Things got kinda messed up. I got a little cranky.

I decided to change my "Cousin It" profile pic. Close friends (who...btw...never comment) told me the new picture looked plastic and that "the laughing picture was definitely more you." That, too, made me somewhat cranky.

Started to wonder if being cranky had anything at all to do with blogging and pondered the possibility that I was just in a really girlie bad mood.

Then, when I thought I could take not one more new or unexpected occurrence, I got a new job. And not just any job, but the perfect job for me...for now.

Suddenly, I'm no longer cranky. In fact I'm...ecstatic! My old pic is back up and my messed up template is no longer annoying - just another project for another day.

And I can't wait to start my new job.

:-)

40 Day Fast...Day 29

Today Brody writes about Compassion International. He and his wife sponsor two children through Compassion. He describes how far their $32 goes in the lives of the children they sponsor:

How far does my $32 dollars go in the life of a child cared for by Compassion International? I’d say about half an inch. About half an inch was the difference I saw on James’ face when the new photo came in the mail. A photo that has been taken after receiving letters, support and love from a family he has never met. That photo is solid proof that something has changed in this little boy’s world. About half an inch reduced the pain and fear in Roshie’s life enough that her mom sat down to write. Thirty-two Dollars a month will change their lives forever, reaching further than any ocean, or social class. I’ve found that about half an inch is the difference between disappointment and a smile, between sadness and hope, fear and security. Thirty-two dollars a month to make about a half inch difference in a life through Compassion International.


Thirty two dollars. That's not very much, is it?

40 Day Fast...Days 27 and 28

Yesterday, Lorijo fasted and blogged for the 40 Day Fast. Prompted by the 40 Day Fast to take action, she now sponsors a child through Bridge of Hope.

Today's blogger is Euphrony. He writes,

Do not dwell in inaction, break the inertia and step into action when God calls you. Both in global and local needs, simple actions or grand, organized or spontaneous, find the place where God has prepared for you to act. Open your hearts in love to the whole of humanity.

Read his post here.

Fiction Frenzy

For me reading fiction comes and goes. I can go for a couple of years and not read any. But then, that one really special book comes along...the book I just can't put down, not to make dinner, not to run carpool, not to pay bills (kidding)...and I'm on another fiction frenzy.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini started this one. And, in my typical fashion, as soon as I finished it I bolted to the bookstore (the very same day) in search of his second book. A Thousand Splendid Suns was just as consuming.

Both stories are set in Afghanistan of which I barely paid attention to before 9/11 and, honestly, not even so much since. But that's about to change.

And so is my short-lived fiction frenzy.

When I picked up A Thousand Splendid Suns I also grabbed the The Middle East for Dummies. The very last copy on the shelf. Now, you may be embarrassed for me that I so openly admit to owning and to reading this quick fix history book on the Middle East...but, it was the LAST copy. You know what that means, right? Yeah, I'm not the only one who threw their hands up and said, "Okay, you got me...I have no idea what has or is going on. Pleassssssse someone explain it to me." Because I really want to understand.

So there you go. Really great fiction leads right back to the reality of non-fiction. And in more than one way.

The author of those remarkable stories (that have had my kids eating Easy Mac for the last four days) saves a special section in the back of the book to tell of his involvement with UNHCR, the UN refugee agency. You can read more about Khaled Hosseini here.

And if you are looking for a really great summer read, I've just suggested two.

:-)

40 Day Fast...Days 25 and 26

Yesterday's blogger for the 40 Day Fast was Andrew Osenga who wrote about the Dalit Freedom Network and how they are "fanning the flames of Dalit independence." Please take the time to read his post here. He has spent time with the Dalits and tells very specific ways we can help.

Today's blogger is Shawn. He reminds us that needs are all around - right here at home. It'll be hard to drive down the street today and not notice someone who could use a gesture of thanks or extra care after reading this.

40 Day Fast...Day 24

Tim Harm posted yesterday (sorry I'm late again) about "The Trendy Poverty" saying:

But if poverty and suffering are so ancient themes, then why is it now, just now, that they are getting so much attention? Why has the picture of Africa become so... so trendy lately?

Interesting question and great post you can read here. Make sure to watch the video about TOMS Shoes and "Shoe Drop '06" while you are there.

40 Day Fast...Day 23

Today Lucas Parry writes about Kiva...

How can we be involved in eliminating extreme poverty?? By fostering the entrepreneurial spirit and empowering people to earn an income. Offering people a leg up, while also giving them a sense of self-worth and satisfaction as they grow a small business. By giving in this way we avoid corrupt bureaucracies and deliver the help where its needed, to the people.

Read his post here.

All-Nighter

For me, the best all-nighters are those spent curled up with a great book. And that's exactly what I did last night...into the wee hours of the morning. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, is magical in that once you grab onto and open the cover, you are unable to let go of it for (almost) any reason. It's been out for several years and so probably you've read it already. But if not...read it now!

:-)

40 Day Fast...Day 22

Michelle blogs today for the 40 Day Fast...

Me Too...

I took this silly test, also. More than half of the fun was taking the test...especially the buckets part.




Considerate I totally get. Inventor...I'm not as sure about.

:-)

40 Day Fast...my turn

Up until last month I was pretty sure nothing I could do would make a real difference to anyone in Africa. Or in any other impoverished country for that matter. The needs are too numerous and the places too far away. In fact, I distinctly remember a panty-hosed church lady once telling me that my kids were my mission field for now. Forget about the far away places.

I never forgot but, then again, I also never did anything about it. Until last year, when I almost got involved with Blood:Water Mission. Yeah, almost.

I first heard about BWM through an article written by Chris Rice where he explained what BWM was up to and why. 1000 wells in 1000 African villages. Clean water leading to clean blood. Made sense to me. But I was still wondering how anything I could do would be big enough. I kept reading and got to the part where he writes:

“It’s a simple idea. But it is something. Will it change Africa? It will change a small part of Africa for a handful of people. Maybe it will change 1000 small handfuls of Africans. Every small thing is part of a process...I just wonder what I can do. It doesn't have to be big. I remember Somebody saying, 'If you give a cup of cold water in my name, you've done it for me.' He didn't even say 'a well' of cold water. Just a cup. I guess the little things matter to Him. Maybe there is something I can do afterall."

So I could do something. I checked out their website, discovered the Two Weeks of Sacrifice and got totally excited. I could do this, my kids could do this and, even better, the kids at church could do this. I sent an email to Student Ministries right away. They loved the idea, only…they wanted me to head it up.

And I didn’t do it. I can’t explain it...but I didn’t think I could do it. So I didn’t.

Now a year has passed and I have a second chance. They still love the idea and this time I’ve done the Two Weeks, done a little more reading and I’m ready to help get it going in whatever way they ask. And this 40 Day Fast has tons to do with that. Each day I learn more. Each day I move farther away from the me who worried that anything I could do would never be big enough.

So if you've read through BWM's website already and think you've soaked up enough info, take another minute to check out their blog. Here you will find all the stats and facts that I am leaving out here (I think we're familiar now) along with News, Musings and Ground Reports.

The blog is where I read about a group of women in Miami raising money for wells through selling beaded earrings they make as they sit poolside sipping wine. It's also where I read about a 16 year old girl saving 16 lives on her Sweet Sixteen Birthday instead of receiving gifts. People who get that "every small thing is part of a process" and are doing something about it.

Maybe that lady in the pantyhose was partially right afterall. But even if my own kids are my mission field, it still doesn't mean I have to forget about far away places and their people. Quite the contrary...I just have to tie the two together.

40 Day Fast...Day 19

Transition Pete includes a Podcast in his blog for today...an interview with the HIV/AIDS Program Coordinator for Food for the Hungry. (Sorry I put this up so late!)

40 Day Fast...Day 18 (again)

Still in vacation mode this morning I got the 40 Day bloggers confused. Today was Scott's day to fast (Todd was yesterday) and he writes about the colonias of South Texas. Read his post here.

40 Day Fast...Day 18??

I hope to catch up on last week's 40 Day posts today and tomorrow. I missed being online for those. Today, I believe, is Day 18 of the 40 Day Fast and Todd writes about Darfur. Check it out.

Back at Home

Back from the beach already. Time flies when you are busy sleeping in, slathering sunscreen, playing cards and...oh, sorry, you probably wish you had been at the beach, too.

Actually, I am making it sound far more relaxing than it really was...for me at least. My kids, yeah, they had it made! But that's what family vacations are all about - kids having a blast until they pass out at night and grown ups working just as hard as any day back at home only with moments of vacation fabulousness.

Like the sunsets. Like sitting in the sand watching kids run in and out of the surf in the dark with sparklers. Like listening to their squeals and laughter as a wave is splashier than expected. Like floating on a tube in the Gulf of Mexico, even if it's just for 30 minutes. Like finding a totally intact sand dollar on the beach at dusk.

That's fabulous stuff. Or fabulousness.

But it's always good to be back home. Appointments, activities, errands, "problems"...are all right here where we left them. And maybe tomorrow we will take care of some of them.

:-)

Vacation and 40 Day Fast

We're off to the beach for one whole week. Wow...it's sooooooo much work packing everyone up but CAN'T WAIT to be there later today!

So for the next week just follow along on the 40 Day Fast by clicking the links each day from my sidebar. I hope to find a library or somewhere mid-week where I can catch up on the new posts.

Have a great week.

:-)

40 Day Fast...Day 9

Today Jeanine writes for Day 9 on her blog, The Positive Space. She writes about her work with Youth With a Mission and highlights several organizations fighting for victims of injustice. Her primary focus is children affected by war, slavery and oppression. Please read her post and check out the links she gives.

Sister for a Season

About a month ago I made my mom laugh. I told her that although my (older) brother is very very nice, what I really need at this point in my life is a sister. She found that humorous.

I think I told her that because I knew tonight was coming - the night before Maggie, my "sister" for the last 7 years, moves away. Pretty far away. Maggie and her husband are moving to Chicago.

I met Maggie right after my youngest was born and she became a part of our family in no time at all. She befriended my children, cared for them at times and brought strength and laughter into my home when I could feel or do neither.

She was our dinner guest on a Christmas Eve bringing joy and excitement to our table that I so badly feared was missing. Afterwards, she stayed long enough to help me get my kids in bed so that Santa could, hopefully, get to work before holiday exhaustion took over.

She altered Halloween Costumes, hemmed Uniform Skorts and made monogrammed pillows. She gave the best hugs. She has the best laugh. We're pretty sure there's no one else like her...and that Chicago is really far from Florida.

But the Maggie Years have come to an end. Even though we'll go visit and she'll come back here, we have to move on and get used to life without her. And I have to try to show my kids that despite the sadness that naturally comes from losing the day to day closeness of our good friend, a part of her will always be with us. Because not only do we love her like crazy, she loved us well.

And she still does...just all the way from Chicago.

:-)

40 Day Fast...Day 8

Today Stephen writes about Blood:Water Mission which is the organization I will be focusing on as well. Please read his post and click on the link to BWM's website to find out even more.

40 Day Fast...Day 7

Today Stephanie writes about sexual abuse, shares heartbreaking statistics and encourages us to
support our local organizations devoted to this cause. Please take time to read her post and maybe find out more about how your community cares for victims of abuse.

40 Day Fast...Day 6

Chaotic Hammer highlights Compassion International on Day 6 of the 40 Day Fast. Please click here to read his post.

Before

Here we are just 5 days into the 40 Day Fast (About something other than us) only this post is going to be about me.

Before the 40 Day Fast, I

• Didn't think twice about burning two pieces of toast, tossing them into the garbage and then trying one more time (but today I did)
  
• Never thought to start my day with a glass of cold water instead of downing a can of Diet Coke before I was even awake enough to taste it or to decide if I really wanted it (but yesterday I did)
  
• Blew through the grocery store grabbing our typical items without much thought, and ended up with way more junk food than real food much to my kids' happiness (but next time I'll slow down and shop smarter maybe)
  

And that's not all.

Each day I read another post and a string of comments that are totally changing me. Not just moving my heart, because that was already in a pretty good starting place. But it's all slowly invading my thoughts, my habits, my lifestyle, my lazy ways. Whatever amount of compassion I felt, no matter how strong, it didn't stand a chance when everything else about me was shouting, "No, not you. Not yet."

It is finally sinking in. Each one of us can make a difference. Each little bit counts. Each small thing helps. In fact, each small thing seems crucial. I didn't get that before...or didn't believe it. But now I do.

Which, now, makes this post totally about something other than me. And that's what it's all about.

40 Day Fast...Day 5

Kristin blogs today on raising compassionate children. Please check it out here.

40 Day Fast...Day 4

Shaun Groves is the blogger for Day 4 of the 40 Day Fast.

40 Day Fast...Day 3

SAM is the blogger for Day 3 of the 40 Day Fast.

40 Day Fast...Day 2

Brant Hansen is the blogger for Day 2 of the 40 Day Fast.

40 Day Fast...Day 1

Today is the first day of the 40 Day Fast. Each day I'll post a short sentence or two reminding you to click on the link of the blogger fasting for the day. The links are listed in the sidebar of my blog directly under the 40 Day Fast logo. Just find the date with the blogger's name next to it and click on the link. You'll be taken to their blog to read about a need or cause and the organization they are highlighting.

Today, Kat will tell you about Compassion International.

:-)

40 Day Fast...It's Almost Here

Tomorrow is the first day of the 40 Day Fast. Scoot over to Kat's blog and find out how you can follow along and even get involved yourself. And beginning tomorrow, each day I'll be posting a link to the blogger who is fasting.

Come on...check it out. It's going to be very inspiring.

:-)

Lazy Hazy Summer

Been dying to post something new the last day or two and even thought of about five random subjects, but summer already has become a little lazy for me.

Or maybe I've just adjusted to being a "be at home mom" again...and enjoying it because it's so temporary.

Lots of movies seen already (we've seen 5 of the top 10.) Way early mornings driving my oldest daughter to summer school, just up the hill and around the corner - then crawling back into bed afterwards. And my most recent obsession with finishing the book I blogged about previously (which couldn't have arrived in the mail soon enough.)

I've even discovered some fascinating blogs - one of which I spent maybe an hour reading and then watching a series of video clips entitled "I Can't Open It" from the blog of 81 year old Millie Garfield, one of the Internet's Oldest Bloggers. It's awesome. So warm and inspiring. I can't wait to go back and read more.

Aside from those things and now getting my son (the middle kid who can't wait to leave for camp again and whom I worry may miss the bus home on purpose...sisters...) ready for another week of camp, crud wars and whitewater rafting, I'm still here. And floating between what my summer was supposed to look like (major household organizing and goal setting and goal implementation beginning) and what my summer is falling into place as being (movies, random cleaning, trampoline games and remembering what it was like to spend snippets of time alone with each of my kids.)

I'm really lovin' this summer...but will try to cut down on trampoline play every now and then to post something new and, ummm, exciting.

:-)

More Than One Meaning

Trampoline - Where my youngest and I play our newest backyard game called, ummm...well, we really haven't named it yet. But here is how you play. Climb onto a trampoline (in our case, it's our neighbors') and warm up by slowly running around the perimeter of the bouncy part. Then, (oh...make sure to throw a ball onto the trampoline before climbing up) lie on your back on opposite sides with your feet pointing toward the center. Bend your knees so that your feet are flat on the surface. The youngest goes first, as always. Using only your feet play "volleyball" as best you can. That's it. Very fun. Very funny. Very prone to starting loud laughter and occasional snorts.

Trampoline - Another excuse insurance companies in Florida now use to cancel your homeowners insurance policy it seems. Guess my "neighbors" need to make sure their trampoline isn't visible from the street.

Trampoline - My 6 year old's code word. We use it sparingly but with great effect. We use it whenever little chatterbox begins divulging deep dark family secrets, concocting her own deep dark family secrets out of boredom or when she begins to repeat lines from a movie we are embarrassed to let be known that she has seen somehow. "Trampoline" said with a tone of urgency and raised eyebrows has been found to stop her motormouth mid-word and with wide eyes, a slight gasp and a tiny smile of pleasure she replies, "Oh, yeah...trampoline."

:-)

Great Idea

Once I re-entered the blogosphere (again), it didn't take too long for me to check out Kat's blog. And just in time for an amazing idea she is presenting of a 40 day fast for her friends and readers in an effort to "take a long term stand against poverty."

For 40 days beginning on June 22nd, 40 bloggers will fast one day each and on that day will blog about a need, nation or cause and an organization addressing that need, nation or cause somewhere around the world. On each of the 40 days, all bloggers will post a link on their blog to the "fasting blogger" of that day. Kat then encourages everyone (including you!) to participate in fasting on the 40th day.

At first I only intended to follow along and then fast with everyone on July 31st, the 40th day. However, a song and a subsequent post by Kat inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and fully join in (I think I’m on her list!)

In her song, You Are the Sun, Sara Groves sings,

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I can't be a light unless I turn my face to you

I listened to this song a few days ago and, although it wasn’t the first time I’d heard it, it was the first time it stuck with me in a way that felt something like, “So Marianne, when are you going to let God’s light shine through you…when are you just going to look Him face to face and let it happen?”

Then Kat mentioned using our blogs for something outside of ourselves and I knew what I wanted to do. How I wanted to start looking God face to face. How I wanted to start to shine.

Maybe these connections make no sense to you. That’s okay. But I’m going with it and I’m pretty certain in my own scattered way that it’s the beginning of something pretty exciting.

:-)

Very Cool...

Check this out, Thinkmap Visual Thesaurus. I believe you get five searches for free but then that's it without paying. I happened upon it quite by accident but never knew a Thesaurus could be so much fun.

:-)

Try it out.

EuRekA...

Tonight - once again a little down in the dumps about my lack of skill at parenting my soon to be 14 year old amazing daughter - I remember that there is Google.

Google. Of course.

I go and type in “when your teenage daughter hates you,” thinking that may be a bit exaggerated, but...WaLa.

Nearly perfect article. Points me in the direction of what looks to be a nearly perfect answer to my so many many questions, concerns and general mass confusion. I mean, this was soooo not going to happen to me. To us.

But it did. And I absolutely am shopping for this book tomorrow. I miss my daughter and while I know that typically this too shall pass, I want to make triple-sure that it does.

Here it is. My chance to display all the patience, understanding, wisdom, humor, insight, strength and, above all else, unconditional love that I spent my teenage years (and possibly longer) insisting that I deserved even more of at times. Here’s my chance.

We so need this book. And your prayers.

:-)

Getting Going...

Decluttering...oh, yeah...one room down. Only like 5 more to go. But hey, it's only June. Got all summer.

Got all summer to finish those three books I started as well. Bad habit I have - reading lots of books at once. It's kind of hard to finish one that way. Sigh.

What am I reading?

This Beautiful Mess: Practicing the Presence of the Kingdom of God by Rick McKinley. I read Jesus in the Margins about a year ago and felt I couldn't go wrong with another of his books. I was right. Have many page corners turned down...some pages at both the top and bottom if the front and back of the page have parts I want to remember to come back to...one day.

Oh, then at bedtime I started reading Mandy by Julie Andrews Edwards to my 6 year old. I read Mandy myself when I was probably in 4th grade (yep, a hundred years ago) and have been waiting for just the right night to sneak it into her bedtime routine. See, typically, she prefers to do the reading herself. And while she has many many gifts, listening isn't her specialty. But somehow I caught her by surprise and - BAM - now she's hooked. It's awesome.

So, the third book I have started but not have finished is Narrative of Sojourner Truth by Sojourner Truth with Imani Perry. Read about it on Chris Rice's blog and, being a History Major and all, thought I'd check it out. So far I've only read the timeline in the front of the book. It's been so long since I've studied History or even read much about History - fiction or not - and I was amazed to remember all that took place during her lifetime. Truthfully, the facts and exact dates of historical happenings never seem to stick for long in my mind, but the stories of people who have lived before us fascinate me. And so, I look forward to reading more about another remarkable woman in history.

So there you go...my summer and how it is all starting. How is your summer "getting going"?

:-)

Time Flies

Exactly one year ago today I went back to work. And wasn't all together thrilled about it either. Seems like just yesterday we had a dog. Seems like just yesterday he made me late for the first day at my new "real job" and like just yesterday that I paid a babysitter every penny I brought home for 2 1/2 months. Seems like just yesterday I thought that was a really great idea.

:-)

Wow...so glad it's not yesterday anymore. So glad that this summer instead of copying and laminating and data-entrying (I made that up) that I will be driving my taxi cab all over town again. Yes, I really said that...despite the absurd cost of filling up my taxi's gas tank.

My job...it was great. My co-workers...they were the best. My kids...they adjusted somewhat. Me...I needed to catch my breath. So, I figured out - actually, I just told them - that I couldn't work this summer. I should be typing something like I studied and tweaked my budget but...I didn't. I just quit. Even found my replacement. It just all worked out.

So this summer I'm back to having a Spongebob Theme Song brainstain and back to washing beach towels every night. No, we don't have a pool - just lots of hoses, sprinklers and water guns. And when I'm not taxi-ing children I plan to spend my summer blogging, decluttering and, yeah, catching my breath (which mostly involves reconnecting with my kids I think.)

And, ummmm, because I failed to do that budget tweaking (would've been wise...oops) you may have to endure a few blogs on coupon clipping (do they still print those?) and reaquainting my kids with the library (instead of our cherished Barnes and Noble)...not sure I can let go of that one!

Anyway, how has "everyone" been?

:-)

Girls' Night Out

I owe last night all to my(older) brother. He was supposed to breeze into town after being close by on business but...didn't. Couldn't. Wouldn't. Whatever. Okay, okay - I'm being a baby.

Anyway, since the sitter was already booked and although the thought of curling up with a stack of books at Barnes and Noble all by my lonesome for 3 hours on a Saturday night was terribly tempting (sad but true), I opted for plan B: Girls' Night Out. The "girls" being my 13 year old daughter and me. And wow, what a treat.

Although, I wasn't so confident of that as we were planning the night...

"Mom, can I call Brooke (not her real name) and ask her to come with us?" (her)
"Well, no, I thought this time it would be just the two of us." (me)
"Mommmm...WHY?" (her)
"Just because." (me)

Doesn't sound too promising, does it?

But what a GREAT time we had! And you know what? She sucked it up and enjoyed herself. She had a monumental stack of gift cards and a wad of babysitting cash ready to spend, but she followed me to my stores (at first) and did her best to dress me a little more stylish than usual. Which actually isn't too hard since anything more than flip flops and jeans is a fashion improvement.

Then, when I was finished and I couldn't carry another bag, I followed her around and watched in amazement at the little shopper she had become. Only two (maybe three) years ago we spent HOURS in Limited Too while she stared at racks and racks of clothes having no idea what she liked or what she wanted to try on. Painful.

But no longer. She whizzed through shops and honed in on exactly what she liked. She looked at tags, compared prices and added an accessory here and there. She knows what she likes. Time being key at 8:30 on a Saturday night (especially with three more stores to go before the mall closes), she skipped the dressing rooms and held up shirts and shorts to herself before taking a chance on whether something would fit. And just where did she learn that?

I was truly amazed. And also thankful to have somehow, some way, produced a fashion guru (okay...she's just a typical teenager) from whom I can borrow cute shirts and fun jewelry. Because, I'm thinking after last night, there is no way I should be dressing myself anymore without seeking her advice first.

As the mall closed and we HAD to leave, we spent another hour or so bonding at Olive Garden. It had been far too long since I spent the night out with my oldest daughter. Far far too long. She has changed so much since shopping at Limited Too. She has changed so much just in the last six months. And in just four more months...she will be out of middle school. Finished. The awkward years over. Just in time for High School.

Suddenly I'm at a loss for words. My fingers just sat still over the keyboard not knowing what else to say. And they are doing it again right now.

All I know is that, out of all of the Girls' Night Outs that I've had, last night was absolutely the best ever. And that's saying a lot. It was some good stuff.

:-)

Tea Time

Since I'm officially on my way out of the dumps (for now) thought it was high time to add to my list of Sweeter Sites. Typed the previous post while indulging in my new nightly ritual of drinking a mega-mug of hot tea. But not just any tea - Tazo Tea (Calm is my personal favorite.)

So I thought I'd check out their site. Definitely sweet...can't wait to go back and play around with it more when I'm not quite so sleepy. Try out a cup of virtual tea for yourself.

:-)

A Good Tired

Lately, I've been totally exhausted by the end of the day. Actually, I've become totally exhausted by the time I make it to work. Some days I'm even exhausted as soon as I wake up.

I have wondered if maybe I'm getting sick. Or if I've developed an awful disease. But then I realized that all my joy and typical silliness were no longer around, and I had to accept that (oh no, not again) I'm a little down. Truly blue. I HATE that. Really, I do.

I mean it's not like I don't have so so much to be thankful for. My car works, I don't cut my own grass and my kids are healthy and fairly happy. So not feeling very thankful for those and scads of other things that are perfectly peachy, I became, ummm, unsettled. I think that's because I've been less than thankful before and I know the blues follow close behind. In a way it's kind of nice to see them coming at you. Gives me time to give a few people a heads up. Gives them time to hide or at least to fill their calendars with other people, places and parties while I sit at home and wallow in my selfish sadness. Kidding.

Anyway, before you start thinking that I'm just one big whiner, let me say that (for me) feeling extra sad has not always been a bad thing. Years of living through the coming and the going of my blues has taught me that...well, they come and then (thank you, God) they go. And some of the most amazing things can happen in the middle of being down in the dumps.

The blues make me very humble. Which is surprising since I'm not exactly arrogant when I'm not being sad. But once I'm down and I know I'm going to be there for a bit, I settle in and start to relax. Because there is absolutely no point in fighting it. And then, and then, I start to take a look to see what really is going on in my house, in my family and in my life. "Whoa," I say to my solemn self, "No wonder you are so depressed."

Because usually it's only when I'm totally at a loss for how to keep on going - when I'm thinking that there is no possible way that I can manage all of this - that I remember that I'm not supposed to be trying to do it all on my own. And in my mind I start to see a feature film length slideshow of all the times and all the ways I have completely taken over MY life. Oops. Again.

So I humbly go to the door and knock. And, of course, He answers. He's been waiting on me to fall on my face (just because it was bound to happen again) and to remember what I was forgetting. Him. Thank goodness He's always so happy I'm back. Thank goodness God is so smart, too. He doesn't just pick me up, brush me off, give me a hug and send me back to blissful days right away.

He sits right down beside me...right down in the dumps and waits. Waits for me to watch that slideshow over and over again. He lets me be sad. And it's okay because I remember He is with me now. He knows me. He knows I need to think about (and probably cry over) every single slide. He's so patient.

But that is the exhausting part of being blue. For me. Sitting there with God and going over all the ways I've taken over for Him. Talking to Him about how I decided to take over His job and how stupid that is...especially since it's happened before. Oh, is he ever patient. I just love that.

And I love Him. And that is why it's a Good Tired. Because once I'm talking to God (again) about letting Him take it all back for me - once I give it all up and ask for His will to be done and not mine - then I know I'm on my way out of the dumps. I can feel the blues begin to fade.

And I'm very thankful.

:-)