Now my oldest has a shiny, white Jeep Cherokee that is nicer than my car. It's already been repaired once and has a fresh new bumper crunch from backing out of the carport last weekend and hitting a pole.
My middle child...still the gentle soul...has his first girlfriend, declared that his body is his body and "Just Said No" to Concerta-the appetite robber. It seems 14 year old boys take much delight in eating large amounts of food and he was not going to miss out.
My baby is no longer a baby. Her happiest moments are on the soccer field, on the back of a horse or climbing a rock wall. She likes earrings and lip gloss...some days...and her favorite thing about school is, ummmm, nothing. Unless soccer practice right after school with her P.E. Coach counts.
Me...I'm really not the same MariContrary either. I'm older and when you are in your 40s...older really does mean...O-L-D-E-R. Middle age becomes more of a reality than you can ignore. And you are way more tired than you were, say, 5 years ago. WAY more.
For awhile I could not come here and write about my life. I could not write about my kids. I was in a phase of life and parenthood that no one really wants to know about. No one wants to believe it exists. But it does...and it changes you...and it's really really important that you make it through. Because when you do, you catch your breath and realize everyone is still here. And everyone is still in one piece. And that's a big part of our purpose here with each other. To see each other through the good, the bad and mostly the ugly. And to realize there is life and (hopefully) lots more living on the other side of this secret, nameless phase.
I think I'm on the back side now...hoping I'm mostly sliding downhill from here for awhile at least. If that ends up being the case, I'll be here writing again I think. I'm pretty sure this secret, nameless phase of parenthood has huge value. And I think I may be ready to talk about it.
And I promise...I'll figure out my photobucket login and post a new picture.
:-)
1 comment:
Oh my gosh. Even putting a name to it as vague as "secret nameless phase of parenthood" makes me need to cry a little. It's been really hard for me to go through things with my child that I don't want my friends to know about. I'm one who needs to process things with others. So, I identify completely. And hope I am on the other side, at least for awhile, too!
Glad you're back!
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